If you knew.....REVISION
Yesterday I posted "if you knew...", I guess I left out this tiny bit of info that makes a big difference! The post went something like this:
If you knew that BM/BF was physically abusing another child, would you continue to let your stepchild visit with BM/BF? advice and comments please.
Well the part I failed to also give was: if you that CPS was already contacted about the abuse, and CPS never let BM/BF know, and the incident was still under investigation, and this knowledge was brought to your attention, what would you do?
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Hi
We have been in your shoes. We even had proof of the abuse, we showed it to the lawyers, the GAL, CPS and NOBODY, I mean NOBODY did a thing about it. We wanted to stop visitation, but we were told that we would be in contempt, that it would look bad on us, that we could lose the case, but that if they got hurt while in her care, then we could still look bad, we could still lose the case. It's a rock and a hard place. We didn't allow them to go anyway, and our reasoning was that we would rather explain to a judge why we refused visitation and kept the child safe than we would explain to the judge why the child was lying in a grave, dead from abuse. Harsh? Yes. But also very true. The children were the ones complaining of the abuse to begin with. We invistagated ourselves, found out it was true, and went through the proper channels. They were NO HELP. So here it is, over a year later, the BM hasn't seen the kids in that time and they are better for it. The damage was so severe that my oldest SS suffers from PTSD and ODD due to abuse. That is his diagnoses. So, personally, I would not, could not, let them go.
~THE EXERCISE THAT REALLY CHANGES YOUR LIFE IS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE~
I think I would call (or
I think I would call (or have the child's parent call) CPS and find out what's really what. Let them know you have concerns about sending the child there for visitation due to the abuse allegations. Ask them if they can advise you on whether or not it's safe for the child to be there. (They won't tell you to send the kid or keep the kid with you, but at least you can kind of feel them out as far as what's happening.) If there has ever been police involvement, you can call the local police or sheriff's dept. and ask for a copy of any calls to the address and see if that reveals anything. I think you should investigate as much as you can, then act on whatever info you come up with. I would rather risk a contempt charge against myself than put my child in a dangerous situation.
~ Anne ~
"Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries."
(Truman Capote)
thank you!
Thank you for your kind words and advice, this situation is very concerning and something will need to be done.
again thanks