Ok so my SD is an alcoholic. He almost killed my brother (biological) during a drunken rage by choking him to the point the blood vessels in his eyes ruptured and his neck was bruised. It took my mother and HB and HS to pull him off my brother. My HB and HS were 10 and 8. Once he was released he just ran. I got the call after work and rushed towards where he was walking. I drove past a hospital thinking we should go and my mother(a nurse) said if we go to the hospital SD could get arrested. My brother decided not to go. After that day he was all apologetic only a few weeks later kicking him out of the house (under the influence of alcohol) then momentarily kicked me out. Despite my mom's request and his "apology" I never came back to stay. My whole life I've felt it more important to protect those around me and when anything happens and I'm not there I lose it. My mom and SD have sorta split, living in two houses and is still not impressing his own two kids now 12 and 14. He is dating someone I know (who is also quite the ho), and has no problem rubbing it in my mothers face in front of his children. The kids are rebelling against him and now my fear is that as they get older he will do to them what he did to my brother. I've thought about asking my mom to fill out a living will requesting me to be given emergency custody if something were to happen to her, but my brother thinks she will stop the conversation and want nothing to do with it. At this point they are old enough they could make that decision on their own. I wish I could do something to prevent him from hurting my HB and HS. But I am afraid if I try to interfere he may hurt the family worse than he already has. If there is anything I have learned from this situation is it's not the kids fault for how they turn out their immediate family members help that too. I try to be the normal for my brothers and sister hoping they do not turn to alcohol or blaming themselves for the destruction of their lives, its not their fault. I don't know if anybody reads this and my other blogs but I give more love than I take, and I am emotionally strained. I don't know how to say enough. I don't know how not to worry. I don't know when to just stop and life go as it is. Is there a way to stop loving so much.