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Can't make Xmas plans

Ssamantha's picture

Submitted by Ssamantha on Fri, 12/10/2010 - 12:27pm

My parents and sister live 3 hours away from my home that I share with my fiance and his two children. I would like to be able to open gifts with both families, but due to BM's flakiness, I have no idea if I can make it happen. You can never plan anything with her because she "forgets" if you tell her too far in advance. We have no idea if she is going to pick up the kids on Xmas or not. We could plan to leave for my parents' in the afternoon and she very well may never show up. It's so frustrating!!

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SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 12/10/2010 - 12:36pm

Same story here. We have been trying to find that magical date when we can plan these things with BM, because she "forgets" if we plan too far in advance and if it's too close she won't budge very often.

We have yet to find out for sure if we are having SS3 from Thursday through Sunday or if we are getting him on Christmas morning...and we'd like to know since we also have to travel 3 hours to see DF's family. Also it's quite possible that SD5 might get thrown into the mix...

I share your frustration!

Ssamantha's picture

Submitted by Ssamantha on Fri, 12/10/2010 - 12:48pm

Normally, I just spend Xmas with my family and open gifts with him when I get back, but I feel so bad when she does actually come get the kids and he is sitting in the house alone.

It's such a simple thing...there's no reason for this to be so complicated every holiday.

He had to call her the day before Thanksgiving and find out what time she was picking them up the next day and she told him she wasn't.

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 12/10/2010 - 12:53pm

Can you get together with her to write down a plan for the next year's holidays so that you can plan better? Then have both parties sign it?

Ssamantha's picture

Submitted by Ssamantha on Fri, 12/10/2010 - 1:01pm

We could, but she doesn't even know where she is going to be living next year. She's in the process of moving over 8 hours away so who even knows if she will be around. And having her sign something doesn't mean anything. She doesn't abide by the visitation in place with the court, in arrears with CS, she's told outright lies to the judge, mediator, and family therapist etc. etc. She's not exactly trustworthy.