Should you take CS if you don't need it?
Our BM believes that my DF does not "NEED" her CS. She is planning to move hundreds of miles away and DF will basically have them full-time. She does not believe she should pay CS because he doesn't "need" it. I guess since he was able to take care of them while she ducked and dodged CS and quit jobs when they caught up with her, makes her think he doesn't "need" it.
So my question is, if you have two parents and one is doing a lot better than the other, should the person who is not doing so well pay CS if the court orders it based on the amount of time with the kids?
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The CS is not for the parent
The CS is not for the parent it is for the child - so even if DH was a millionaire he could still put the money in an account and save it for the child for college. Both the BM and DH had the child and both need to pay for the child. So even if DH does not need the money it is not for him. So tell BM to STFU and pay up!!! She needs to pay!!
I wholeheartedly agree. If
I wholeheartedly agree. If SS7 decided he wants to live with us in the future as he starts getting to be less attached to his mom & wants to hang out 'just the boys' with DF - I will demand we get CS although he sometimes says he doesn't need her $ if that happens. It's not that we can't afford to have him live with us - it's exactly as caregiver1127 says - it's for SS. That's the $ that will be paying for his clothes, school expenses, extra utilities, clothing, food etc. We will cover the balance of his expenses.
I expect the $ we're currently paying BM to be going 100% to SS as that's what it's supposed to be for, but I try not to think about it as he comes in pants that are ripped, too small & one time she even let it slip that she wanted DF to send her the $ a couple days early (which, good man he is, refused) since she had to go buy some friend their birthday gift. :? ggrrr }:)
We don't get any child
We don't get any child support at all for my stepkids. And they live with us full time. Their mother might see them twice a year...a few days at Christmas, and a week during the summer.
When we were non-custodial, we paid her $2,700 a month in child support. When we got custody, we didn't ask for any child support. Frankly, we don't need it. And she doesn't pay her any of her bills anyway, so we knew it would be more of a hassle than it was worth to try to enforce it.
Plus, the kids felt really guilty when they made the decision to move in with us. One of the things we promised them was that we wouldn't ask their mother for any money.
So my question is, if you
So my question is, if you have two parents and one is doing a lot better than the other, should the person who is not doing so well pay CS if the court orders it based on the amount of time with the kids?
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Absolutely...you only have to weigh if pursuing the matter is worth it...
My ex would never pay CS...wouldn't matter what they did to him...he couldn't see past giving the money to "me" He never considered it as helping his children...That said..he hasn't' seen them in 14 years...so chasing CS is a no win situation for me...at this point, its opening a can of worms that I would rather leave alone...the best thing he could have done was go away and leave us alone...which he did...I wasn't about to muck that up by chasing him down for CS at every turn...
Yes. I can't imagine a
Yes. I can't imagine a circumstance where the NCP paying child support wouldn't help the child in some way. If the CP doesn't need the $, they can always put it aside for the child for college, etc.
2 of our BMs choose not to work and choose to be deadbeats, so of course financially we are doing much better than they are. Should the kids be our financial responsibility for this reason? No. The BMs don't have custody, so they don't have the kids to concern themselves with, so they can feel free to work more, educate themselves, etc, until they ARE doing better.
"The BMs don't have custody,
"The BMs don't have custody, so they don't have the kids to concern themselves with, so they can feel free to work more, educate themselves, etc, until they ARE doing better."
---That's what she's claiming she wants to do. Finish getting her degree and get a better job, but doesn't feel she should have to pay child support while she does it. Unfortunately, she's been working on a bachelor's degree for the past twelve years and I don't think she's even halfway there yet due to failing classes and switching majors constantly.
Who gives a shit if she gets
Who gives a shit if she gets a better job - you all can raise the child yourself it is not about that it is about taking responsibility for a decision that you made and holding up your end of the bargain - who cares if she wants to go to school she can but she can also pay even it is $100 a month for the child she should - she needs to be held accountable for her actions plain and simple she needs to pay something!!
Our BM pulled the same shit and DH let her get away with it - she did not pay for the first year any CS because she said she needed to get back on her feet - when her and DH got divorced she walked away with $103,000.00 yes your read that correctly - I did not know at the time that is how much money she got plus for the first year DH paid her $800.00 for one child and he was not making enough but felt bad for SS. When I found out how much she got in the divorce I about lost my mind here SS was living with us and I was using a lot of my money to help support him and BM was driving around in a $40,000 car and was able to buy a $175.000 condo and we were struggling to make ends meet - make her pay!!!
Caregiver, that's how I feel
Caregiver, that's how I feel about the situation and so does DF. She needs to be held accountable. She's caused all kinds of trouble for years because no one held her accountable and everyone from DF to his family and her family enabled her. To avoid her nasty attitude and insane antics, everyone just did what she wanted.
She actually questioned his manhood for wanting to file a motion once she moves. He's been the main caregiver and provider for the kids' entire lives and she's only been paying CS sporadically for the past three years and the court had to force it and garnish her wages.
How many people are there
How many people are there here that don't need it?
DH and I own a company and make good money. We pay every penny of every necessity and luxury for the children. All CS goes into an account for the kids directly (college, sports camps, extras). So far we've collected about $1500 in CS in 5 years, all of which has gone to SD20s college. Not even a dent.
BM tries the same argument to Skids. Your dad has plenty of money, I shouldn't have to pay anything. She barely feeds them when they're with her. Why am I expected to pay MY money to support HER children? She is quick to make sure I and everyone else knows that SHE is their mother and I'm not (duh) and she can't even be bothered to pay $151 per month? She brought them into this world and should be equally responsible with DH to provide for them in a fair manner. What kind of responsibility does this teach her children?