BM calls DH for home repairs

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I haven't posted in awhile, needed to get the drama out of my life and deal with an autoimmune disease.

But the stupid, BM called last night during our Christmas Party whining for DH to come light the pilot light on the water heater.

Would you be pissed off if DH says he will go see if he can light or fix it so BM doesn't have to pay a repair bill, he feels that would take away from the kids Christmas?

I am freaking livid, we pay her $1700 a month in CS and she has her dad and disabled (full social security) sister living with her.

I am in a tough position to tell DH "no, you can't go fix it for her, tell her to call a damn repairman. She wanted the damn house, she needs to learn how to take care of it." BTW, he gave her the house in the divorce, she had 3 yrs to refinance, and we are now 3 yrs past her deadline to refinance. He is still on the mortgage and the house is slowly becoming a shamble because she won't do any repairs or even pull weeds in the yard.

ugghhhh, I hate feeling like this. Every time we need her to be nice or show some consideration we get treated like crap from her.

If I were DH when she called

:jawdrop:

If I were DH when she called with that kind of crap I would call a repair service and have them show up at BMs house to do the work. The repair service can hand the bill to her.
Holy Crap! You have to be kidding me?

That's bull crap! BM called

That's bull crap! BM called my DH once because her car broke down about 1 and 1/2 hours outside of town and she wanted DH to come and get SS, her, her BF, and BF's two kids...my DH was going to do it because "he didn't want his son sitting on the side of the road somewhere" I flipped the hell out... Are you freeking serious?? She does not have a brother, sister, father, mother, friend she can call??? Come the frig on! AND her BF is ok to have her exbf come up and pick him and his kids up??? I would walk the hell home or get a taxi before I would ever let DH ask BM to come pick us up!!

DH ended up getting into a huge fight with her (as usual) and didn't end up going to get her (the BF's mom came and got them) After that and a couple of smaller incidents where DH finally started saying "no" I think she finally got the point and quit calling for stupid shit like that.

These men need to STOP feeding these needy, POS monsters that THEY have created!!!!!

Our BM called DH last week

Our BM called DH last week crying that SD10 had sprained her ankle in school and that she needed him to meet her at her mothers house so he could take them to the hospital because she had no money. Here's the kicker. BM lives 3 blocks away from the hospital, we live 40 miles away from BM.
My DH told her he couldn't make it and she should call a cab. He knew better than to go over there I would have ripped his head off.
AND when I checked online BM had JUST gotten her CS check direct deposited that very morning so she had money to go to the hospital she just wanted my DH to sit with her in the ER. The damn nerve.

To quote another poster not

To quote another poster not too long ago... "Hell to the fucking NO." Why the hell would he even consider going to her house to 'fix the water heater'? No way in hell. DH would be sleeping in the garage if that ever happened.

There was one time that bm

There was one time that bm called dh to fix something, I told dh that if she said I could come ok fine. Well to my surprise she said I could go. We went and fixed her PC but when we left dh was so uncomfortable with the whole thing that he never did it again. I really didn't want to be there at all. Dh knew that so we never did that again.

I would ask him to tell her that you both will come or not at all. that will more then likely shut her up.

I can relate to a few of the

I can relate to a few of the above comments.

Shortly after we married BM called DH to come fix her lawnmower. She said he "really should" bc it was for HIS kids. She has a father and a brother, they can fix it for her. I'm sure she was looking for an opportunity to tell me that he screwed her while he was there. He didn't bite.

Once her van broke down on the side of the road, and she needed him to come get her and wanted him to fix her van since its the vehicle she uses to drive his kids where they need to go. "Queen of Guilt" He got off the phone, and I told him.. If the boys were with her, he should drive over there and pick his KIDS up so they are not sitting on the side of the road, but if he also picked BM up he damn well better just go home with HER. Again, she has a father and a brother to come pick HER and her van up.. Both of which own auto repair shops!!! Come to find out, the boys were not even with her..Again she was probably looking for that "opportunity". She used to try everything possible to tear us apart. She really thought she had a shot at getting him back. Stupid BM.

Wow. Okay I have had house

Wow. Okay I have had house problems after I divorced my first husband and NEVER asked him to come over and help with anything. BM needs to cut them apron strings ASAP.

LOL totalof4 our BM had the

LOL totalof4 our BM had the nerve to insinuate to me that my DH STILL begs her. My reply was "Yes, he begs for a hurricane to come and swallow your monkey ass up." You can see the entire exchange on my blog from yesterday. It's HYSTERICAL.

Unfreakingreal.. I read that

Unfreakingreal.. I read that yesterday and almost fell out of my chair. Our BM used to call at all hours of the night begging DH to "come home". There were divorced and he was living with me, just weeks before we got married.
He would tell her that he was HOME. It was really pathetic.

This would totally not fly in

This would totally not fly in my world. I actually get a little pissed even thinking of the mere thought or nerve of her ever calling to ask for such .....frankly i think I would be more pissed if my BF did it!

Whateva

By the time I left my ex

By the time I left my ex husband, I could do basic plumbing (I can fix anything under a sink or having to do with a toilet), light a pilot, fix holes in drywall, basic electrical, I'm pretty much a decent handy-woman. There was no way in hell I'd ask that sorry excuse for anything.

Before we got married, DH went a couple of times to let BM back in her house after locking her keys in. The 3rd time she texted him about that, I was with him. I wouldn't let him go. She ended up breaking the garage door to get in. But, she never asked him to do anything like that for her again.

I got the same problem...BM

I got the same problem...BM calls BF to look at her car...fix things in the house.....borrow money...bring her cigarettes if he is in the area...go get her food if he is bringing his daughter to see her...absolutely pathetic.

I'd tell him if he goes, he

I'd tell him if he goes, he better stay because he ain't coming back here.

Simifan I am right with you

Simifan
I am right with you on that one. His azz better stay there

i totally understand! my

i totally understand! my husband is over fixing his kids truck right now. they only call when they want something, especially more money. 1200 a month isn't enough, wah. when he tells them to deal with it themselves, they stop asking for awhile. we've been together 10 years and its gotten better. that ex tries to make my husband hate me every time they talk. it gets old. so i just baked him a pie and made him dinner. he'll appreciate it after dealing with that frustration. hang in there!

Well, WWIII just happened, I

Well, WWIII just happened, I freaking blew my lid over this BullSht. I am sleeping on the couch I am so pissed. I am sick and tired of hearing "I only did this for the kids." BS, go take the kids to dinner and movie, spend some freaking time with them. They could care less that you saved their mom $400 bucks for a repairman.

I told DH from day one you have kissed BM ass and gave her EVERYTHING she demanded in the divorce and she has not once done one damned thing we asked her to do. For instance, stop calling their dad an asshole and stop telling the kids to call me FAT (insert my name here), stop telling the kids you can go out even though you have an F in history as long as you don't tell your dad I let you do this. That woman is a B*TCH and uses people to get what she wants, even her own kids.

omg i thought psycho fat

omg i thought psycho fat b*tch was my personal knickname!!! you have it too? omg lol! don't let her win by sleeping on the couch. cool off, then go cuddle up to him the way she wishes she could and give him lovins. he's probably doing it out of the guilt factor and has a strong sense of doing good. imagine how much more he loves you.

my husband has to go help ss fix his truck on saturday, and i just have to enjoy that he gives me a good life, he comes home to me every nite, and occassionally that hag gets some attention, but it ain't close to what I get on even a bad day.

this site is sanity i've needed for so long!!!!!!!! thank you people!

Sometimes I am reminded that

Sometimes I am reminded that our bm is not as bad as she could be. I remember early in our relationship dh was working out of town in bm's city. His car broke down. She went and got him and took him to the store. In turn, he has tinkered with bm's car at pickups or dropoffs sometimes. It never bothered me. Dont get me wrong-she lives an hour away-if she was stranded in her home town he wouldnt go get her and she also would never ask. But if she was in our town (where she knows noone else) he would help her regardless of whether ss was with her or not.

Yeah, it's rediculous, not

Yeah, it's rediculous, not necessary and very unreasonable. There is NO reason for DH to do anything of that sort for BM. I'm sorry but it's a FREAKING PILOT LIGHT!!!! It takes 10 seconds to do!!!! There is no need for a "repair man", are you joking?? Does she need a repair man to change out her toilet paper rolls too? Or how about to put in a new light bulb? She should never think she has the right to contact DH about such things and DH should never have it in his mind that it's okay for him to play along and do it. He can give all the sorry excuses he wants, but not his place. I would be livid if DH ever tried anything like that.

further proof, nothin more

further proof, nothin more pathetic than a more pathetic needy bm

Pilot Lights for Dummies

1. find match
2. turn on gas
3. strike match
4. light the pilot

Pilot Lights for BM

1. omg, yet another opportunity to sponge off my baby daddy. child support AINT enough!!
2. thought: like yay!
3. runs to mirror to practice being pathetic
4. dials your husband
5. recites her dismal circumstance, my pilot, oh heavens, please come now.......we NEEEEEED you
6. it has to be NOW during your party. we can't possibly have showers tomorrow!
7. listen in background......is the wife pissed off yet?
8. giggles.
9. puts on her best sweatpants and hag face and waits for your man to arrive with the matches in her butt crack.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how ridiculous this is.

further proof, nothin more

further proof, nothin more pathetic than a more pathetic needy bm

Pilot Lights for Dummies

1. find match
2. turn on gas
3. strike match
4. light the pilot

Pilot Lights for BM

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how ridiculous this is.

tofurkey, I don't know your

tofurkey,

I don't know your situation.. but for us it was, "Hmmm what can I do to try to get him over here with me"? She just wanted to be close with him. She once called him bc oldest ss was sick. Then tried to tell me that they "Got it on" while he was there... Well her story was ALL messed up, and this can be another blog!! Point is she made alot of petty efforts trying to get him over there. Its not all about they really need something as a Pilot Light fixed, it about proximity. Either to be near them or to start shit. I guess it depends on BM. Needy or Stupid!?!?!? Ours is both!!

totalof4 - oh I deff agree

totalof4 - oh I deff agree with you! I guess that was kind of my point also if I didn't get it across very well in my wording. It's bad enough to deal with a skid that has a sense of entitlement, but even more mind-bashing when you have to deal with BM having that syndrome as well. It's rediculous how far some BM's go to try to have DH "come to the rescue". Like with OP's BM, lighting the pilot is so easy there is no logical reason for her to need help. It was just an "excuse" for her to drop the "it's for the kid's" line and have him come cater to her and stroke her ego. It's disgusting.

The statement I made to my

The statement I made to my husband that I think really drove the point across about this nonsense excuse about it "being for the kid" was if you really think about it every freeking thing BM does or does not do could theoretically affect the kid but the crap she is asking for bottom line benefits HER!

I told DH, maybe he should wipe her ass too, after all, his son wouldn't want BM to have a stinky butt, that would be horribly embarassing for him... so wiping her ass would be for SS according to DH line of thought.... I think DH finally got the point!

I need to elaborate more on

I need to elaborate more on the "light the pilot light." It seems when DH and exWife bought the house she is currently in, they had a water softener installed. The installation was done poorly and they put the water heater behind the softener and is was positioned with the access panel to one side. To light the pilot light the water softener had to be removed.

My DH was over there for 3.5 hours yesterday removing the water softener to get to the hot water tank. Finally, BM's brother showed up and stayed to soldier pipes so they at least had water last night. DH still has to return to re-install the water softener, plus pick up parts across town for pieces that broke while removing the softener.

I am still pissed off over the whole ordeal, he saved her $400 at least in a repair bill. And I remember clearly last year when we were tight on money because of $780 electric bill for one month in the winter, she said "that's just too bad now isn't it."

We have spent over $3000 in attorney's fee trying to get the court system to enforce their divorce agreement. DH has kept up with everything he agreed to, but she failed to refinance the house in the 3yr time frame she demanded.

I can't believe your Dh

I can't believe your Dh actually put that much time and effort into helping her with that. She could have and should have called a repair man. If she wanted the house so bad, she should have realized these things would come up from time to time. If she didn't want to call a repair man then she could have called a male family member, not your DH. He is no longer her family.

Hi MrsFrustrated. I could

Hi MrsFrustrated. I could write a book on things just like this my DH has done - in fact, I might! Suffice it to say these types of things have ruined my marriage as DH and I are about to separate. We have one chance left at counseling and I don't think that's even going to work at this point because it was my suggestion not his. Don't let it ruin your marriage - put a stop to it and don't feel bad about it either. I would suggest counseling for him because obviously he has a guilty conscience or else he would be able to move on and not worry about things like repair and maintenance for HER house. It's not a matter of jealousy or fear of them getting back together, it's the principle of it all. I just think these DH's enjoy bending over and letting the BM give them the shaft.

I agree mostly with Rags, except instead of your DH calling the service repair man I would tell her to call him her own damn self. If DH continues to call for her, she will always find a reason to call him. He needs to stop enabling her and make her responsible for her own issues.

Sincerely,

My thoughts on these types of

My thoughts on these types of ploys and entitlement issues that BM's have all for the sake of the Kids....is that if in fact they (The BM) is that helpless and if BF/Husband etc are so concerned then they should have stayed with the BM for the sake of the kids.
At the end of the day Divorce is Divorce and things will not be the same, everyone involved have to move on.

Whateva

DaizyDuke, I am still, a day

DaizyDuke, I am still, a day later, laughing at your Ass Whiping Analogy. Its on RIGHT ON!!!! LMAO

Mrs. Frustrated, I'm really curious to know WHO paid for the parts that were broken during the repair that had to be replaced!!

Oh yeah. DH pays for lawn

Oh yeah. DH pays for lawn service and someone to plow her driveway. Cant have the kids slipping!! Hate that she guilts him into doing it

You can't put the blame on

You can't put the blame on her. She's more responsible for the kids slipping in the driveway than he is, after all. He needs to man-up and quit taking care of her.

He NEEDS to tell her, "no"

He NEEDS to tell her, "no" call the repairman just like anyone else would. She needs to respect yalls relationship. Just bc they have child together doesn't make her "special". Plus,
I have lit the pilot light on the hot water heater several times. It's not that, the instructions are right on the appliance.

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BM calls DH for home repairs