BM uses cruel nickname for me
Forums:
How do you deal with the BM who while in her home refers to me the SM as "Fat (my name inserted)" The SD tells us during her visits that she is tried of her mom calling me names and has asked her to stop. I am fed up with the BM, she had no right having children, the woman is horrible.
Its unfortunate that people
Its unfortunate that people can be so childish. Im sure BM has a nickname for me but the kids would never tell me. They have, however, told me about BM's nickname for HER stepchildren. She calls them Mr and Miss Stinky! This also upsets my SD6 because we have spent so much time teaching her to be nice to others and here she sees her mother being so mean to her step siblings. Could you imagine what BM would have to say to us if we behaved that way?!?!
Oh.. but most of us do
Oh.. but most of us do misbehave that way. We are not cruel about it though- we just vent here on our little forum - the stepparents forum!!!
I am not judging - as I myself have a nickname for BM- the troll. Because she looks like one of those troll dolls- with big huge teeth- bug eyes- wild wacky hair - and saggy skin. Very scary - but hey I am not the one who married her!!!
I would respond by comming up
I would respond by comming up with some appropriately descriptive nick name for BM. Be creative and let your immagination go.
We have come up with several for my SS's BioDad and other members of the SpermClan over the years.
SpermIdiot
Dick Head (Sounds similar to his real name)
DipShit
Toothless Moron (he is actually not toothless but the descriptor is indicative of his behavior)
etc.........
Then there is SpermGrandMa who is unequivically the Bitch From Hell!!!!!!! among other behaviorally accurate descriptors.
In the interest of full disclosure, we don't refer to them as anything but by there first names when speaking of them with SS. We don't refer to them as SS's "dad" or "GrandMa" because neither of them has earned those honorifics.
But when it is just my wife and I the creative ridicule of them flys.
dh & i have a name for bm,
dh & i have a name for bm, too ~ FFC ~ but we have NEVER bad mouthed her in front of the skids..... where as, bm goes out her way to make sure skids are present when she wants to fight and call names..... i wonder what her nickname for me is ~ i'm sure it's not very witty..
BM calls me the hedgehog to
BM calls me the hedgehog to FSD7 :? I am sure it means something to a 39 year old who acts/thinks/speaks as if she is younger than her own daughter.
Spoken like a professional
Spoken like a professional therapist. And right as usual.
But the nick names are sooooooo much fun. }:)
I think the difference
I think the difference between what some users here do with nicknames, is that it's between adults. While I don't have any nicknames for anyone myself, others on ST use them as a release of frustration. I'm sure the majority of these people aren't using those same nicknames when speaking to the kids, which is exactly what the BMs in these cases are doing.
Not only is it a horrible example to set, but it hurts the children in question for no reasons besides an immature woman choosing to act out of jealousy and spitefulness. There's something wrong with that.
That being said, you unfortunately don't have control over what BM says or does in her own house. The best thing to do, IMO, is to be the bigger person - her antics are childish, but you can only control how you respond. Don't give her the power she's looking for. Advise the children to do the same. I'm not sure how old they are but leading by example may be a good route to take. As much as they don't like it now, the older they get the more clearly they will see her behaviour for what it is. Believe me, I know 'ignore it' is WAY easier said than done.
I would say you could approach her and ask her to cease the name-calling in front of the kids, or have your SO do so, but the fact that the kids themselves have asked her to stop and she hasn't tells me it probably wouldn't do a lot of good.
Best of luck!
Oh I'm sure my husband's
Oh I'm sure my husband's ex-wife has some creative nicknames for me. I've heard a few over the years.
I can honestly say that I could not possibly care any less. I actually find it kind of sad that she lets me take up that much space in her head.
Sigh, Im sorry. One of my pet
Sigh, Im sorry. One of my pet peeves is people calling other people "fat".
She is obviously a child and needs to call names to make herself feel better. There really is no other reason. Don't call her any (outside of you and your DH) and let her wallow in her own misery.
I don't believe in calling
I don't believe in calling someone by any other name than their own. After all, there actions will call them out all by themselves.
i can't say what name
i can't say what name Camelface (BM) refers to me by to her children because it could give away my identity to anyone who may know her. It's a little annoying, but I have a whole SHITLOAD of names I call her. She knows I think she is an illiterate moron that can spell to save her life. She is also..UGLY, DUMB, and LAZY and a BUM.
All of which I have called her to her Camel Face. }:)