I feel your pain. Adult SKIDS were coming between us, too. I had to disengage. DH had the children mostly to himself because BM bailed when they were little. He was very much NOT prepared to raise children, consequently, they had no rules nor consequences growing up. By the time I met DH, the kids were adults. I could see there were issues from the get-go, and I should have RUN LIKE THE WIND when I first met SD, but I didn't. Over the past 5 years, his kids have gotten more and more out of control. Because they are adults, I can refer to them as "people". And, these are NOT "people" I would ever associate with socially or otherwise. They have no morals or work ethic, and SD actually told me she was "ENTITLED" to not work and make babies! Wowsers! I almost came unglued right then and there. Of course, DH is blind to all of this and says they are his children and he "looooooovvvvvveeees" them. Well, ya know what? I "loooooooovvvveeee" my child, too, but if she was pulling this crap, she KNOWS she'd on the shit list, big time. It finally got to the point where I just had to step back and disengage. No more presents, no more of my time, no more anything for his kids. They don't appreciate it, nor do they deserve it. I tried, I really did, to be nice to them. I tried to understand their situation...but there comes a time when they are grown and have to make their own way, no matter what happened to them as children. Since I stepped away....DH and I have a much better relationship. I don't have to put up with their crap, and I'm much calmer and happier at home. Now, DH isn't necessarily pleased with the situation, but he's starting to see the light. There are times I regreat the situation for DH's benefit, but not for mine. I figure it's his mess, he needs to clean it up!

This is a question I have yet to answer. I think it has a lot to do with the love you have with your spouse. We have been together for about 11ish years and the past 3 have been ROCKY!! Since his daughter has moved in it has been HELL. We aren't strong enough for it; There are times I just want to look at them and say - YOU WIN! and then take our 3 other children and walk away from it. Honestly, sometimes I ? myself and the relationship. But if you are happy and are willing to make it work; as long as you make it known that you two are a united front and no matter what those kids say or do - you are staying togehter and thats that!! Good luck to YOU

It's awful! I was waiting for the bulldozer to turn 18, but it never really stops, does it? They OWN their fathers!