You are here

New Here

Neverwantedastepkid's picture

Submitted by Neverwantedastepkid on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 9:00am

Forums: 
General Discussion

Hello everyone I'm nu here and glad to have found this sight.

I need some help, I have been married one year but my husbnad and I have been together for about 6 years.

I have one Step-son, who is a good kid; but the problem is I really hate when he comes around, I don't know what the heck is wrong with me. I try not to show my anger when he comes around, but sometimes I just can't help it. I have always felt this way off and on, but had gotten better right after the our wedding, but just this summer I have really hated being around him. He gets on my nerves, he follows my husband around the house, he pouts, he always wantes to talk about things in the past that his mom him and DH has done.

I have no idea why I feel this way, I just like it better when he is not around and I feel so bad for feeling this way.

Recently, I have been very upset with DH if he has a party or something he wants to go to when he has his son, b/c I DO NOT want to watch him, I told him to stop planning things on the weekends he has his son; he got upset and sd "so he is just my son now"..well sorry to say YES I don't feel like I should have to take care of him in any way..

Has anyone ever gone through this? how did you come out of it I don't want it to hurt my marriage and my step son later on down the line.

RustyHalo's picture

Submitted by RustyHalo on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 11:30am

I enjoy when the skids are over, but I enjoy it more when they're not. Plain and simple. But, in all honesty, there were days when my biokids were young when I couldn't wait for their dad to pick them up. NOT everytime, but once in a while. It's hard to love children who aren't your biokids. Well, I wouldn't say hard because I love my skids NOW, but it took a while. They look and act just like the BM and that's hard to overlook, but they are very sweet to me. They are 8 and 9 and I am scared to death of what they might be like at 15 and 16. I do stay home with the skids if FH has plans because I decided I would be "all-in" when it comes to this relationship. But, being "all-in" has a fine line. I am all-in when it comes to what I can control in my house, now when it comes to FH and BM switching things up on me without consulting me, then you are on your own. So, don't plan to be away from the kids on a weekend that you have changed with BM, because I will not be available.

stepmom008's picture

Submitted by stepmom008 on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 6:10pm

I have to admit that I'm so glad that other people feel this way too. My SD's a good kid but I can't stand BM and unfortunately I think I let that affect my feelings towards her. I'm kind of having an identity crisis because BM "walks on water" and I don't know what my role is supposed to be. I'm not exactly a warm, nurturing person - not that I'm downright cold - I'm just not an ooey gooey squishy kinda lady. I think the thing that we have to remember is that we can't control our feelings and no matter what, our feelings are valid - we might just have to keep them to ourselves to avoid a fight with the hypersensitive partner. All we can do is muddle through.