Here is our recent battle wth BM. SS12 has some anti-social behavior and seems to have some problems at school with breakdowns from being picked on. BM wants to put him on Zoloft and another med since she thinks he also has Tourette's. He doesn't of that I am sure. We had him tested last year and he does have mild ADD. Tried a pill for that at her request. Stopped it when he started getting severe migraines.

Now DH and I are against pills for a kid this age. He gets A and B's. Mostly A's. He has no breakdowns at our house. We have 50/50. He has admitted to the teacher that my SD14 is beating him up before school. I am sure it is not physical just verbal. She has a dominant personality and has always picked on him. That said we don't have her living here anymore at her request. Thankfully... Now BM is a total bitch and is constantly trying something new with SS to "fix" him.

As of today this is what they have decided to do for him. Karate 2 days a week. He also has choir and I have started volunteering with that to keep an eye out for the bullies at DH's request. BM doesn't know and probably doesn't care. It worked last week I stopped a few problems for him and it even caused one of the kids to apologize to him the day after the concert. He started a month ago with individual therapy once a week and group therapy once a week. Also, his Dad goes through his backpack and agenda every day. His teachers are doing it as well before and after school. Issue was he wasn't turning in the homework. Now that has been getting better.

She took him out of school on Wed to meet with Psychiatrist without telling my DH. Then got the prescription filled for both houses. DH sent an email last night indicating that he didn't want the meds. She basically is saying she wants to try for 3 months. I have been on Zoloft in the past and it has some strong side effects. I lost 40 pds in two months. Killed my appetite. This is a small undersized kid. Last month she was talking about putting him on growth hormones. Fortunately that hasn't come up again. All cnversation between DH and her is email in order to keep records for our lawyer. She complained in the email that she is broke but is willing to go into debt (she already is) to put my SS in Brain Balance as well. We know the lady that runs it and she is a quack, so DH said no to that as well. He and I feel it is too much for one child to take. He is different yes, but what is to say who is normal. He will be fine. She doesn't know how to parent him. We can do it full time. If he tells us he wants to stay her full time, we will serve her with the same CO modification she did to us last spring. Still not settled. She wants CS for SD14. DH wants to go to court since our lawyers say in all likelihood, she may owe us CS and our lawyers fees since she caused it.

So - my question is this? If one spouse wants drugs for a kid and the other one does not, what do you do? I have no idea how this will play out. Saw DH at lunch and he says he needs to have time to answer her in detail and not with hostility since he is CC'ing the lawyers.

Now answer the question and than what if I told you that the BM is a Pharmacist. She has tried to put this kid on three meds since I have been in his life. SD14 complained about migraines had an MRI and trip to the neurlogist and now has to take a daily pill. She did not have migraines, she had a headache and amazingly enough would take something and be fine, the minute she wanted to do something.

Now DH went to therapy to take SS on Wed night and went off on the therapist when she seemed excited that SS was going to be taking meds. Unfortunately for her, my husband is very educated about the meds and let her keep talking and asked her when she was done was she aware that BM is a pharmacist and has been pushing that drugs would fix the kid for years. He let her have it about 3 different things about BM and that all of this started when she created this mess with SD14 and that his son is in the middle and she doesn't care. Also, made it clear that he doesn't have problems at our house. She asked if he laughed with us. He said yes, we spend lots of time together, we watch certain shows, just us. He laughs all the time. Why? She said becuase BM said he is very unhappy. He told her to believe what you want, but my son is not taking meds and it was not discussed with me. He also told her about SD14 beating him up and that she no longer lives with us. Our house is happy. BM's is the problem. Therapist kept saying I see that you have strong feelings about this. He felt he got his point across that BM is now trying to manipulate another therapist. Similar to SD14 and her therapist last year.

I feel that if he doesn't want it, she should back off. If she doesn't we head to court. I did tell him that if SS12 says again to us that SD14 is beating him up again, I am liable to make an anonymous phone call to the school. Let them get involved. He told me that would break us. I said so be it, if that is how this ends I am fine with that. I will not let BM and SD continue to berate that kid and not try and do something. No one will listen to me about any of this. Ugh!!!!

I would love to hear from anyone that had similar situations. Can this be considered some type of abuse? He has custody and final decision on healthcare for this child. BM has it for the other one.