My DH has three children from two different relationships. He has had his two older ones their entire lives and they just moved out last April. His youngest has been with him since he was 3.5yrs old. He has ADHD with a few other issues... namely very volatile. He is so disrespectful,selfish,lies a lot now and just makes everyday tough. I know about ADHD..I have a nephew who has it and my DS has add but oh my those two are like night and day compare to my SS. I know of course all can be different.

Anyways...the most I do is a time out for him and take a toy away if he is using it wrong. The child has "gone of" on me and gets away from it..because dad is at a loss!! We are in therapy which so far isn't working. My In laws defiantly lay a line down on their family and mine. My family isn't very active in my kids lives..they visit but they don't spoil them and they don't have too. I have my MIL saying to my SS that if he has a good weekend she will buy him a present. My SIL was here to pick him up and he threw an awful temper tantrum.(BTW he is 9)He ran from all of us and hid..cried and yelled at all of us. So I say fine you can stay but play tme is over( it was time to clean up from a bday party we just had)and we need to clean up..he looked up at me and said No I'm going with my aunt. Aghh so anyways we walk to the aunts car and she says to him..in front of one of one sons..ok we are going to the store if you are good I will buy you a present" AGHH again..yes lets put him in complete control and the reward bad behavior.

I see it as..it is hard for my SS to have ADHD but it is very hard for our two older boys(my bios) to LIVE with someone who has ADHD...they are never rewarded.
Ok so about 10mins ago SS is talking about wanted a huge bday party and invite people over..he had that last yr and my older boys who had their bday just 1mth earlier did not. Actually the deal was since we just had a new baby no big party's..just invite the gmas. Well it was HIS Gma who inviting two adult cousins, aunt and uncle over so I felt like I had to throw some food together and drinks..etc. etc. SO unprepared!! So my BSs had nothing of a party but again he does..so this yr my older ones turned 10..a big yr. I had my sis and BIL over and two of their cousins..had pizza and cake. We took the three boys out the day before for their bday party and all had a good time. So I have a day outing planned for SS and it is going to be on a Sunday..he is 9. He is telling me how he wants to invite all his relatives over because he wants lots of presents!! I tell him we have an outing plan and I think you will enjoy it..he says he doesn't want that..just people over. I say why? He tells me again...to get more presents!! Aghh selfish. I am then sitting with my BD and two BS and we all hear him complaining to his dad about how he wants a big party(BTW woke him up to complain) and how I said he can't but the twins did so how come I can't..I heard his dad say something but couldn't make it out..and then his son just goes on and on..not once did his dad say ok stop right there..u will not sit here and complain without the other person here and I don't want to here it. I feel his silence validates his complaints and thats all he needs even if his dad doesn't...just to say the least we have a terrible relationship!! I am so frustrated and I told my DH if this behavior continues I will not be able to continue to stay in the home. I actually said this at our last therapy appt. so now SS docs knows it is VERY serious..things have GOT to Change!!
Thanks soo much for listening!! Whewwww