I have a SS that is wonderful. Lately my DH and I have asked for more time with him. My DH felt since he was not working this summer they could do a week on and a week off. BM said no way basically that it was too hard for him. My DH went to her and asked her to sit with someone (a lawyer a friend someone) that would help come up with a fair schedule. She turned around and said, "I don't like sending him down that way because he doesn't get a bath". She is partially correct. When we have him only one night he does not usually get one. He swims quite a bit though. He is 7 years old and will survive a night or two with out one. We do give baths though. She didn't agree to talk to anyone. We go away every Christmas and were told last year he could not go with us because he didn't want to. When we asked him he said yes then all of a sudden said no. He told us recently he doesn't want to go because mommy said she cries whenever he is with daddy and it is too hard on her. That issue has yet to be addressed because my DH won't bring it up to her. Yesterday we went to pick him up from football practice only to discover it got out early. We went right to BM's house and they were just getting out of the car. My SS came out of the FRONT seat and later admitted he doesn't always use a booster seat in the back and is allowed up front. The NYS law says up to 8 in a booster seat. My DH doesn't know if he will address this because she will bring up everything we do wrong - like no baths.

Help. How can I get my DH to speak up and tell her off. They have joint custody with her as the primary residence. The court papers say custody times should be dealt with amongst the parties.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.