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This week is BM's last week of Summer rotation. SS4soon5 has football conditioning every week until August. DH previously emailed BM offering to pick up SS from the daycare she sends him to and get him to practice on time for that week. She declined. Yesterday she emailed DH saying Boyfriend4Months would be bringing SS to practice. It's unclear if she means all week or just yesterday. Yesterday at practice SS4 arrived with Bf4m, I helped him out his cleats on while DH asked him about his day. I forgot his helmet so I went to get it out the trunk of my car and noticed Bf4m parked next to my car. I noticed he didn't have a car seat or even a booster seat for SS in his car. SS is going to turn five in a few weeks BUT he barely meets the weight requirement for the basic booster seat without a harness so there's not a chance he would meet our state guidelines for kids to sit bare. I checked online and our state says "4-6 & 40-60lbs must ride in booster seat with or without internal harness". I told DH, he got pictures but by the time we walked back to the field BM had arrived in her car with carseat. He didn't say anything at the field because she's the kind that would make a scene and it's only the first week of practice. He said we will see tomorrow if Bf4m brings him again without a carseat today he will say something but I think he should email her before it happens again. What do you think?
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BM would have to give SS's
BM would have to give SS's daycare permission that DH can pick him up. He told her in the email we could bring him to practice but she'll need to let the daycare know but she ignored that part of the email completely. She would rather endanger her child if it meant DH having an ounce of her time.
I would send an email and
I would send an email and give notice as to the legal violation of no car seat and safety of the child. THEN if it happens again, take pictures again give notice and you have a paper trail if you choose to file with the court.
But is that your intention? Bar boyfriend of driving the child around?
If it were me I would go the route of best situation for the child. Respectfully tell BM to provide boyfriend with a car seat and leave court out of it. Especially because it sounds like you are also very involved with the child. This could quickly turn into something very ugly.
BF4m seems pretty decent and
BF4m seems pretty decent and DH doesn't mind if he transports SS but he does care that he doesn't have the proper seat.
Yeah this was DHs reasoning
Yeah this was DHs reasoning for not saying anything last night. SS was already there, the ride was over and it will be the same today if he does it again. The only way they would actually get in trouble enough for BM to care would be if a cop pulled him over and gave him a ticket which is not likely. It's just another thing we can't control but worry about.
To be honest? If the BF
To be honest? If the BF seems decent, I'd seriously just ask BM (not some legally worded email that will put her on the defense).. just a quick decent conversation... about the car seat. My guess is she's going to say that she forgot to leave the seat with BF (which I've done before at my own house with my own husband) in which case I would offer to go halves or just purchase a booster seat for BF to have in his car. I mean they are like 20 bucks? Problem solved.
Right now we have 4 vehicles (don't ask!) and we have a car seat or booster seat for BS6 in every single vehicle. That way there's never an issue of not having a seat or forgetting.
Lady face is right, this
Lady face is right, this could be resolved as simple as you put it if only BM was reasonable. But I thought the boyfriend seems decent and I guess I could offer him my extra booster that I keep in the car for carpool during the school year.