i am blessed with a wonderful fiance and and amazing stepdaughter who i love and who loves me too. if it were just the three of us and our dog in life (until FH and i have little ones of our own come along of course) i would be content forever. but unfortunately that is not so.

not only have i dealt with a bitter, jealous, vindictive, conniving, spiteful BM for the past three years since i have been with my FH, but for some reason my FH's family has been having a problem with me lately as well. it's an extremely long and drawn out story if i gave the entire background...but i will try and shorten it to say things have gone really south with BM lately and it is partly my fault...but that all depends on how you look at the situation.

basically BM was denying my FH his court ordered time as she does whenever she feels the whim, and i- along with FH and his family- had had ENOUGH. but as usual NONE of them including my FH was willing to stand up and say how they felt about it. i am not the type of person who can do that. i stand up for my feelings and if i think something is wrong i am going to tell you about it. that may be immaturity on my part, and i can admit that...i am only 21 after all and new at this, but it doesn't change the fact that if i feel that strongly about something i cannot sleep at night until i've had my say.

but anyway after she said he wasn't getting his time I did the footwork and I went to see our lawyer and get a copy of the paperwork that would hopefully prove to her that she was wrong in thinking she could deny this visitation, and when i did get the proof i sent her a text to let her know i would have the papers for her when i came to pick up SD that weekend. the conversation immediately turned to how horrible of a father my FH is and she started spewing her lies and exaggerations calling him a worthless sperm donor and telling me SD told her that she never wanted to see FH or i again and that FH is mean to her and doesn't spend any time with her and that SD knows that FH will never love her as much as she loves him...all this type of shit. well of course i came to his defense and told her how wrong she was and at this point i was angry so i started to point out things that SD has told us and that she and her family are not perfect and shouldn't pretend to be and i brought up the fact that she had just a few days before that gotten food from a mutual friend of the both of ours because no one in their household had been working and they couldn't even afford to feed SD!

so there was this whole blowout between she and i and how it eventually stopped was that she had SD who is SIX years old call my phone and leave a voicemail because i was working and couldn't answer which said that she didn't ever want to see us again and that we were stupid idiots and she was going to let her stepdad deal with me and her daddy. all words that did not sound like her own in the slightest. words that COMPLETELY contradict her actions and what she says to us when she is with us. i stopped the conversation there.

since then BM has made pick ups and drop offs a living hell. one time when they were picking her up her mother-sd's grandma- JERKED her out of my car by her arm, causing her to spill the pizza and cup of sauce she had been eating ALL OVER my car and herself while SD is crying for her to stop and saying you're hurting me...and banging on the windows of their van trying to tell me goodbye and she loves me...and then BM's mom claimed i was trying to run off with SD even though i stopped and got out of the car and could have easily left if i had wanted to. and now that things are so rocky my FH's family is blaming it all on me even though it's not me...it's BM making things impossible. all i did was defend him and i will do that time and time again...every time she cuts him down.

his family will say things to me like i don't care about SD and i'm nothing to do with her and that if my FH were to split up i would never give SD a thought again. all of those statements couldn't be further from the truth. and it hurts my feeling so much to care for this child just as much as her dad does and to be told over and over again that im nothing and i don't mean shit. i can't take it...i care SO much for this little girl and so does my FH and i don't know why BM won't just let us. and i don't know why his family doesn't want me involved with her. i want to be involved...i can't just give up on her because her mother is insane. could i please get a little help with this? am i totally wrong? i don't want to disengage but BM and his family is trying to force me.