I am new here. I would like to hear other people share both the good and the bad stories of living the blended-family life.

Here is mine:

First, the bad part. Here is an example of things that make me jealous.

My 9- and 11-year-olds are away at a summer camp for 2 weeks right now (they are returning tomorrow), so we only have my 17- and 19-year-olds living with us these two weeks, plus my SD visited a couple of times for a few hours, last time being almost a week ago, and she is coming today for a few hours in the evening (no sleep over), and then tomorrow she is coming back for the entire weekend (her weekends with us are Thursday thru Sunday - 3 days long, every other weekend). Anyway, it didn’t even have anything to do with her.

The camp where my kids are posts pictures of the kids at camp every day, and the parents can log in and see their kids. You can also send them one-way emails (they print them out and give them to the kids, and the kids can reply by regular “snail” mail). Of course, I check it out every single day, write them emails almost every day, and really look forward to getting and reading their letters. My husband, on the other hand, only looks at the pictures when I show them to him (he can log in any time, just like me, of course – but he doesn’t), only wrote one email to the kids, and when we got the letters from them, he put them in the pile with MY mail, even though they were clearly addressed to the both of us. In their letters, the kids greet both of us, and wish him happy birthday (it was while they were in camp), and tell us about their camp life, and tell us how much they love and miss BOTH of us. Him not really showing any interest in reading those, or not going online to check out their pictures at camp, just broke my heart!!! When the letters arrived and he put them in my pile (and he did look at some of his own mail, so he did have a few minutes to spare), he said, “I have to run now for an appointment, but I’ll read them when I come back”. Of course, when he came back, he forgot all about it. The next day I asked him if he wanted to read the letters, and he said, “Sure, right after my nap”. Of course, he forgot after the nap, too. So, finally I asked the 3rd time, and this time he read them, and he was touched by what the kids were saying, and he said that he should write them an email (I don’t even know if he followed through or forgot again…). And all I can think of is: If HIS daughter was at camp, he’d be checking the pictures every 5 minutes, and writing her every day, and reading her letters as soon as he got them. But it’s my kids, so it’s not interesting to him… It just made me soooo sad, and I felt so bad for my kids…

Now, the good part.

My almost-18-year-old son. It was our kid-free weekend and my husband and I went upnorth to our lake lot for the weekend. My son asked if he could come visit us and bring some friends. My husband said no problem, and my son brought a friend. My husband took them fishing, let them ride the 4-wheeler on the trails, showed them how to shoot a gun safely (and let them use his gun for it at a make-shift range nearby), took them boating and tubing, grilled hamburgers for them, all the while I was relaxing in a hammock by the lake, reading a book, and doing nothing else! How wonderful is this man?!?

My 19-year-old daughter. She and I have had our difficulties, both of us being strong-willed and independent, so we don’t always get along too well, though I love her to death. She is very motivated, driven, straight A student at the university (pre-med), is on a bunch of different committees and organizations, sorority, religious, etc. She is attractive, popular, and my pride and joy. But she is also moody and stubborn, and, worst of all, doesn’t really like her younger siblings, finds them annoying and irritating (all the while saying that my 4.5-year-old stepdaughter is very cute and fun!), and it really hurts my feelings. But she has developed a great, friendly relationship with my new husband, and she confines in him. He is the kind of father she never had – he talks to her, doesn’t judge her, helps her whenever she needs help (her car breaking down, computer not working, etc.), cooks her favorite foods, etc. So, she complained to him that, while she is trying to improve our relationship (between me and her), the only times I talk to her is when I need something, like to ask her to clean her room, or to babysit or drive the younger kids somewhere. That I don’t really hang out with her, don’t talk to her about her day, etc. My husband (very tactfully, without accusations or making me feel bad, or like a bad mother!) brought this to my attention, and encouraged me to hang out with my daughter without asking her for favors or ordering her to clean her room (which needs cleaning badly, btw). And we did that last night, and it was REALLY nice. We just chatted, and watched some stupid reality tv, and enjoyed each others’ company. And all of that – thanks to my wonderful, thoughtful, amazing husband!

So, that’s my step-parenting story of the week : ).