Taking a step BACK this Xmas.
I have decided this year I'll be taking a much needed step back from getting SD 15 a lavish gift. She already sent her Christmas list to DH in which she asked for her usual lululemon outfits, skims and such. I think DH gave her cash last year since he opted out on giving her skims and that stuff. Of course, SIL loves to spoil her with lululemon since SD was about 10. Usually I fill up SDs stocking and give her gifts but after what she pulled last year for Christmas ( showed up only for gifts and left right after) and her birthday when I also went out of my way to order her cookies and gifts and after her birthday was done she did not visit anymore. Sooo yea I'll be getting her a $50 gift card this year and not feeling at all bad about it. Oh and of course BM had to text the Christmas list to DH as well without DH even asking for it. I wonder when BM is gonna stop acting like she needs to always butt in and SD is not a little child anymore . BM, wether she likes It or not needs to realize that she doesn't need to medel anymore . Just venting
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Um, why give her anything?
Um, why give her anything?
I would buy her a pair of socks and call it a day.
Yea I am honestly thinking on
Yea I am honestly thinking on it . I have 4 kiddos of my own and loads of nephews and 1 niece so maybe fuzzy socks it is!
Go to 5 Below and get her a
Go to 5 Below and get her a pair of cheap pj pants, an oversized charater t-shirt and a pair of those fuzzy socks. You can do it all for under $20, and the dollar tree sells some lovely bags, and cheap assed candy canes. She can't cry that she got no gift....
I hope your DH ignores,
I hope your DH ignores, completely ignores, BM's texts. You are right: she doesn't need to be in the middle. Your $50 gift card is $50 more than I've given either of my ingrate skids in years. Stepping back in these situations is healthy.
He just said "ok" I guess she
He just said "ok" I guess she feels the need to make sure SD gets her gifts ... sigh .
BM keeping bugging him about
BM keeping bugging him about the list , she must be wanting something from. She keeps asking if he is getting from the list and to let her know. I swear always around the holidays I can count on her to do the most !
Yes, do it
Sounds perfectly reasonable. Do it.
I bought small but nice and
I bought small but nice and thoughtful Christmas gifts for the Diablas28&26 until about 3 years ago. They never once reciprioated and went out of their way to give DH gifts that excluded me such as one year OSD gave him TWO coffee mugs and me nothing. Another year she gave him a serving dish, another year she gave him a set of drink coasters. What man needs a set of coasters? I'm done. If DH asks me to sign a gift card I will but he's buying, not me.
Coasters
Other than Jerry Seinfeld I can't think of a man who uses coasters.
lol right ! If I were him I
lol right ! If I were him I would buy her a cheap toaster
Sign the gift card
Merry Christmas! - Your Eeeeeeeeeevvvviiiiil Stepmom
Yea, I went through the
Yea, I went through the signing the card phase,too, and eventually even opted out of that.
The beauty
Of having PASed out kids as you don't have to buy for them! I haven't spent a cent on the three ferals in the last over 15 years. We used to go all out using my salary of course, but that was before they turned on us like a rabid dog and beerbonged the BM Kool-Aid.
Of course all the child support over almost 20 years impoverished Chef so there's that.
In other news, DGD3.5 will be getting her first pair of very nice ice skates from Nana *biggrin* and probably attending baby blades.
"beerbonged the BM Kool-Aid"
"beerbonged the BM Kool-Aid" Lol, thanks for the morning laugh.
Ice skates for baby, so cute! My DD loved ice skating when she was that age. They're so cute!
This is gold and I will be
This is gold and I will be stealing it. LOL. Perfect.
Gift card.
Be done with it. No reason to spend your time to go to 5 below. Regardless it's your DH child. $50 gift card will be a wake up call for her. BM is a BM, she wants her DD to get stuff.
Yea I have done the whole
Yea I have done the whole five below thing to fill her stocking . Not even making that effort, I know what she is gonna do. DH and his family can continue to be played but count me out
I don't buy gifts for anyone
I don't buy gifts for anyone rude and unappreciative. End of story. Good for you for ending the gravy train.
Whatever gift you give stand by your choice .. If she says "Ohh it's cheap. How crappy " or husband says anything..
Response <shocked face > "That is rude to say , I put thought into that, that is not very nice to say about my gift " lmao
I would get a standard card and some fuzzy socks and cheap candy
You could
Zelle her five bucks...
In the early years, I was
I am also advising you to go the Five Below cheap route if necessary. A &50 gift card is more than generous. More than I would be currently, although there was a time when I was willing to spend that on SD and have.
In the early years, I was fairly generous with getting gifts for SD29, out of the kindness of my heart and also out of helping DH financially give her a nice Christmas to the best of my ability too, even though funds were limited on both of our ends at that time. Then would also contribute some cash his way to put towards whatever gifts he wanted for the grands. Now I have fallen away from making much of an effort, once I was met with lack of grattitude. Or when I got the message from SD as if these things were expected more than appreciated. I dont recall ever getting a thank you from SD or a response. nor has she gotten anything for me at Christmas in ages. Cant remember the last time I received anything, not that I get all hung up about keeping score.
Last year was no exception. DH did all the shopping on his own. Unknown to me until Christmas Day, it turned out he gifted her a 5 dollar candle on my behalf, that I had no idea about let alone picked out. That was news to me. I am sure she knew that, but still didnt get a thank you from her, but perhaps that might have been nice even though, on the other hand, I really dont deserve the credit. Not like that bothers me anymore the way it used to.
She at least got DH a card which I found while sorting and organizing our stuff last year. Was only made out to DH as only he was mentioned. All gushing about how happy she is about "ARE BOnd" meaning OUR as in just her and him . Im sorry, to be a Grinch.. but ...Barf! Again, not like I expected anything.Now its kind of funny that since last Christmas, she came at me for "pushing her way".
To be fair, DH was sent with some little homemade crafts from SD;s kids which I accepted graciously of course. Was going to ignore the fact that these things were presented in this kind of ratty old paper bag that was saturated with stale ass cigarette smoke that SD must have tossed them into. Nothing from her persay. They say its the thought that counts.
There was a time when I woud have been so hurt and devastated feeling like I was excluded by her. Now. I have handled it so much better and rolls right off my back as I shrugged it off. Does the little crafts from the kids make me upset or feel guilty for my disengagement, since its Christmas time? Sometime yes, when I let it bother me. Should I feel guilty regarding not getting SD anything, seeing that I feel like I am simply matching effort now?
She has sworn that she "dont want nuttin from me" after insulting me for not giving her whatever she wanted. Well, then id want to say that this means she cant or wont get upset when she does indeed get "nuttin" from me .She probably will decided to get butthurt months later about it anyway. Oh well.
The grab and dash year should
The grab and dash year should get her an ass baring card expressing your dissapointment in her and stating that if she makes every visitation, stays the entire duration, and causes no bullshit, she then will earn a place in the joys of the season.