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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!

CastleJJ's picture

So today is DD's first birthday. DH and I have no idea where the time went. We had plans today to take her to Build-A-Bear before heading to visit family. DH checks his email and receives his daily "USPS informed delivery" email which outlines all the mail that will be delivered to us each day. Today's showed the dreaded CS order that we have been waiting 3 months for. All I could think was "Of all the days to arrive, it had to be on DD's birthday."

We took DD to Build-A-Bear, ran some errands, and came home. DH grabbed the mail and ripped it open. I was so anxious. His CS went DOWN by $125 per month. We screamed. After reading through everything, BM is making $97k per year compared to DH's $55k. Her portion of SS' support is 66% and DH's is now 34%. I have no idea why BM requested a CS increase if she is making that much. This is the first time the courts have ever done anything in our favor.

BM has 21 days to appeal the CS calculation, so we are waiting for that. I am due for a decent raise soon and DH is possibly up for a promotion at work. All of these financial cards falling into place will finally help us get a little ahead.

Comments

CLove's picture

Happy Birthday DD!!!

And YAY for your good news!

CajunMom's picture

Happy FIRST birthday, Baby CastleJJ!!! Hope you had a fun day and lots of cake!

And yeah for the CS drop!!! 

Great day on all sides!

notarelative's picture

Happy Birthday! 
One already! 

Why did BM file? My guess is that she thought, that since you bought a house, there was money to be had. She never considered her salary increase and non daycare costs. 
Cue the appeal. And when that doesn't work, expect the 'dad is cutting his support of you for his new child' response.

CastleJJ's picture

I think BM filed for one of two reasons:

Reason #1: BM watched us have DD and buy a brand new house all in the same year. She knows that I'm a social worker and DH works in IT, so I think she thinks he is the breadwinner, making hefty cash, when in reality, I am the one who made the money moves via my income and an inheritance from my late grandfather. 

Reason #2: Since taking BM to court, she has been more terrified of the courts than usual. She follows the CO to a tee and has been less high conflict than usual. I don't know if she filed out of fear of her lack of daycare and significant pay increase being found out and her being penalized. She willingly turned over all of her financials including her offer letter for her promotion with significant wages and per the report, she did acknowledge that she no longer needs daycare. It just feels weird for her to provide all of that willingly unless she is afraid of getting into legal trouble. 

DH thinks it's #1 more than #2, but this time, it bit her in the ass. 

AlmostGone834's picture

Happy birthday!! I would love to have seen her face when she saw that CS dropped lollollol 

Ispofacto's picture

Maybe she feels the need to brag about her promotion. You know, because if good things happen for you, they have to happen for her betterer.

Narcissism trumps logic.

 

MissK03's picture

This is a good thought. She wanted to up you guys with all the positive that happened in your life... with almost a haha..and it slapped her back.

grannyd's picture

Hey, CastleJJ,

 

Congrats to baby Castle and her devoted parents on this auspicious occasion! 

Also delightful, is the news of your $125.00 reduction in child support! It seems that the older I get, the more offended I’ve become with the flagrant injustice of Family Court and the legalised abuse of divorced fathers. Particularly, when a stepmother and bio-father are relentlessly set upon by some of the nastiest birth mothers in existence. 

You, Hon, and lots of others (justmakingthebest, Caroline2b1211, Aniki, thinkthrice to name a few) have been particularly cursed. Your small triumph today amounts to a shared conquest for many of the exploited and tormented members of this site. Believe me when I say that I’d pay hard cash to have seen the expression on the face of the Great Bitch when she was advised of the news! Yes, YES, YES! Dance 4

 

CastleJJ's picture

I told DH that I wish I was a fly on the wall when BM receives the new order. I bet she will flip shit. But I don't know what she would expect since DD is now a factor and BM no longer needs daycare and BM got a hefty promotion. 

DH already fully expects BM to cry "DH is flaking on his responsibilities." The reality is that DH has been paying max CS based on his income for the past 10.5 years. He has never ever missed a payment, even during downsizing and COVID layoffs. He worked 3 jobs in college while going to school full time to fulfill his obligations. We have watched DH's CS increase with every review request BM has made and she has appealed twice before, seeking several hundreds more despite receiving an increase, claiming that DH has the "potential" to earn significantly more if only he applied himself. DH has also paid every single medical reimbursement well within the 28 day requirement. DH has also never missed a visitation and never missed a phone call (twice per week with SS). DH has completely fulfilled his legal and parental responsibilities as permitted by their CO and within what BM will allow and has for SS' entire life. BM loves to pull the deadbeat Dad card that does absolutely nothing and has spread this narrative to every teacher, doctor, sports coach, and friend's parent who will listen, but it couldn't be further from the truth. Unfortunately, the courts have given BM (and therefore her GF), SS to raise, giving BM her ultimate goal. BM wants to raise SS as a perfect family with her GF, using DH as only a sperm donor and slowly eliminating him from SS' life. We have 7 years left of legal obligation and plan to continue our current path until SS no longer wants it. It sucks but luckily, we know the truth. 

It's sad because many of these HCBMs claim their exes to be deadbeat Dads, when in reality, they are keeping the children away and preventing these men from being parents. Our BM should be grateful she isn't dealing with one of those actual deadbeat Dads who never pays CS and dodges responsibility at every turn. I know BMs who would kill to coparent with our DHs. 

thinkthrice's picture

All those milestones!

You screamed with joy when you saw the new CS order.  HCGUBM probably screamed in pain LOL!

In our case, the only reason the Girhippo didn't repeatedly take Chef back to court for more goodies is because even her own attorney told her she was getting far above the max (because Chef was naive enough to agree to it)

Chef would say  (making excuses for the Girhippo) "Well at least she isn't taking me back to court all the time like some of these other men's exs I know."

I turned around and gave him a look of astonishment..."that's because you gave her everything including the kitchen sink right from the onset  there's nothing more to get... those other guys had attorneys, negotiated and got a fair deal from the start !"

Sheesh!

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Happy birthday to the baby.  Here's one thought for the $125 - college fund savings for mini CasteJJ.

Enjoy

CastleJJ's picture

We already have an investment custodial account for DD. It was important to me to set her up for success in whatever she wants to do in adulthood - college, buy a house, start a business, etc. 

DH is going to either put the $125 into his retirement to help boost that or into our savings.

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Good planning all round!  *give_rose*

Rags's picture

Dance 4

Music 2

Clapping

Biggrin

Interestingly, every time the SpermClan tried to get their CS lowered, it went up.  SpermLand is an Income Shares CS model state, most are.  With the Income Shares model, CS is a factor of combined BioParent income and parenting time.  Since DW was the CP with full physical and legal custody, they only had 7Wks of visitation per year, and DW's income kept going up while the SpermIdiot stayed mostly flat while he added an ever growing gaggle of out of wedlock spawn.  Every time it was reviewed, CS went up. Regardless of who requested the review and regarless of the reason.  Usually it was them trying to get it lowered due to the Spermidiot's indiscriminate breeding habbits.

I am glad you are in a situation where BM's crap can play out with results in your favor.

Your raise should never impact CS since generally SParents income is not a factor in CS.  DH's promotion should not be considered for two years since most states limit CS actions to a no more than every 2 years schedule and then only if one of the other party initiates a CS review.

 

CastleJJ's picture

I know that my income will never factor into CS. I also know that in our state, BM can only request a review every 3 years. I just meant that we have been living paycheck to paycheck for a while, so having a slight reduction and both of us getting raises will help us get financially ahead for once. 

Rags's picture

It is a rarity for the NCP to get a notably positive outcome.

That is trumped by the good news that both your and DH have on the career front.

Enjoy!!!!!!