I swear just when you think things are getting better they don't. DH picked up SD Friday. I decided I was going to try my best to start this weekend off with an open mind - a preview of what it might be like to have SD for the summer.

Starts off ok. Actually I'd totally forgot about the fact that sometimes DH is an EXTRA attentive & affectionate husband when we have SD - like NOW the "family" is complete w/SD there. I get that from his perspective, but that doesn't last long. Immediately he tries to pass the parenting buck to me for SD, only I don't bite this time (pretend like I don't hear him and "conveniently" leave the room) so he has to tell 11.5yo SD to brush her teeth & take a shower, but of course the rest of the time DH is sleep while SD is on the Internet & watching TV in the room.

It wasn't until this morning after I fed my 2 young BSs cereal & he asked me to see if SD wanted cereal to & I basically ignored him (SD is old enough to know when she's hungry & make her own bowl of cereal), then again w/brushing her teeth, etc. That I realized...

...DH is just a lazy, selfish parent! It's not like he was doing anything except lounging on the couch watching tv, but since I'm already up parenting mine who CAN'T take care of themselves yet, why not parent his who CAN, right?

Well, then I noticed more today. DH seemed to have a bug up his ass about something and is yelling & cussing at everyone about every little thing (including SD re: going over her cell phone mins talking to some boy.) I think he might be irritated like he always seems to be when we have to ride in my car & I'm driving, but then he just created a future of he'll for himself if that's the case because he recently traded in his SUV for a sporty, luxury car without considering his family needs, then discovered he can't fit SD in the backseat w/2 carseats so basically then resolves that now I must drive my car whenever we have SD (thanks!)

Anyway, he wants to do what HE wants to do as usual without taking anyone else's needs into account. I guess SD can't speak up for herself or something since she never ate breakfast so I literally have to insist we stop & feed the kids at lunch because "he's not hungry" (another reason I'm sure he hated that I was driving my car.) Then he suggests that I'm treating since I'm the one wanting to stop & feed the kids - another thing he seems to do alot only when we have SD which I really don't get (shouldn't HE be responsible feeding HIS child?) This pisses me off every time of course because of the current imbalance of financial responsibility in the household, but that another issue.

SO...the "final straw", if you will, was the continued mistreatment of my BS as usual, then BS says to me in confidence that he "wishes daddy wasn't so mean to him" (not the first time he said this - even threatened to run away before which broke my heart!), but then BS says "daddy scares me", & THIS bothers me deeply because it's the first time he says that & I flash back to my childhood with a step dad I hated! On-top of this I watch SD walking around with DH & our 1yo BS like SHE is wife & mom and while this isn't the first time I've noticed this (it has always bothered me) it really bothered me a lot today.

Along with everything else we've been planning a remodel & I'm seriously considering changing my mind because I don't want to waste the money unless I can get DH & SD to take care of the house the way it is now first. I gave up even decorating anymore after DH & his kids came along because it seemed that no matter how much I cleaned or decorated the house still looked like shit!

Oh well, I'm not so sure I'll need to post on this site much longer, but I CAN say that being able to come here & vent among people who at least MAY have some understanding of what I'm going through has helped me tremendously in coping with these feelings on a daily basis, so much thanks to StepTalk for that alone!