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It finally happened

purplegirl201's picture

Submitted by purplegirl201 on Mon, 11/09/2020 - 9:31am

Well I knew it would happen sooner or later and it finally did.

SS(10) texted DH on Friday afternoon and said he didn't want to come for his weekend visit, I was very surprised the BM allowed him to stay becasue usually NOTHING stands between her and her freedom on the weekends. Apparently SS had made some plans with a friend from school so DH was happy to hear that and was ok with him not visiting.

On Saturday night DH got a text from SS asking for money to buy add ons to his Fortenight game, SS has to ask becasue we have a parental control code set up on the XBox so he can't go crazy with purchases.DH said No because all week long he had trid to contact SS via phone calls and text and SS never once replied. I've talked to SS about this many times in private and told him that if his dad contacted him to please respond becasue it was very important to his dad and it was just the right thing to do even if he just said HI!. I guess DH had had it becasue he had reached out to SS every day last week and heard nothing back until he wanted something. I have to admit that I was happy that DH stood his ground and didn't give in, usually he has guilty dad syndrome and anythig SS wants he gets. I'll be curious to see how often SS decides to miss his weekends with dad now that he's done it once.

 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Mon, 11/09/2020 - 9:55am

Yes, good for DH!  As kids get older, every weekend makes no sense, especially if you live far away, since he then can't see his friends.  So you might just get a break more often now. 

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Mon, 11/09/2020 - 9:59am

For insisting that his relationship with SS is not a one way street!  Hoping he doesn't cave and start buying SS's love!

justmakingthebest's picture

Submitted by justmakingthebest on Mon, 11/09/2020 - 10:44am

Don't read too much into this because BM here is psycho but I feel like for us, DH putting his foot down over communication is what BM took and ran with and shit went down hill real fast. 

DH threatened to take his cell phone, that we were paying for, if SS kept refusing to communicate. DH told him it didn't have to be that second, but he needed to return a call and respond to a text. (Keep in mind we are long distance and only see him 6 weeks a year). BM, within 2 days, took him to get a new cell number, removed him from our plan (we were still paying off his phone) and then they both lied for a month about it. We had to do a welfare check to hear from him. 

Things only got worse from there. 

I am not saying to give in to your SS but  just keep an eye out for signs that BM will use this agianst you instead of agreeing and saying "you want your dad to cough up $, answer the phone when he calls". 

 

purplegirl201's picture

Submitted by purplegirl201 on Tue, 11/10/2020 - 9:07am

Our BM is also PSYCHO but the phone is on her pay as you go plan, she only keeps it active enough for him to get messages or calls through Facebook, if you try to call the number it says it's out of service. He has a tablet ( has Disney & Netfflix) that is on our plan and DH threatened to shut it off last night becasue as 8pm SS still hadn't responded but DH can tell that he is online. This is really upsetting DH but not enough that he will call BM to see what is up, she is toxic and he tries to have as little contact with her as possible. I'm not sure what is going on, DH bends over backwards for SS and buys him ANYTHING he wants. He broke the controller to his Xbox and I had to immediately order a new one on Amazon for overnight delivery and he broke that one a few weeks later. I told DH I wasn't buying another one becasue SS doesn't appreciate anything, he agreed but ended up buying another one anyway becasue he has that weekend dad guilt.