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Dogmom23's picture

Submitted by Dogmom23 on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 12:08pm

So I suggested to DH living apart and I am obsessing to him about it. I am not an evil step mom. This 9 year old has been verbally abusive to me and gets into fits of rage since she was 5. It makes me physically sick to be around her and I can't eat. Whenever something happens that she doesn't like, she calls BM over and over again crying and BM threatens us but never follows through. Now BM has her BF move in who can't stand SD. She will be at my house all the time especially with no school in the fall. I cannot continue these visitations. They are going to put me in the hospital. What do I do on the immediate?

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Dogmom23's picture

Submitted by Dogmom23 on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 12:11pm

She is also mean to my DD 15. If she doesn't play with her around the clock she tells my daughter she hates her and that my daughter is a brat. She also asked my daughter if she could have her room! She sleeps in bed with her dad and never in a separate room! I can't handle this anymore but I don't want to be an evil stepmom. She is a tyrant.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 12:19pm

I would make an appointment with a lawyer (or two) to get some real legal advice, not internet stranger advice. In the mean time I would try to make your husband keep his word of doing visitation at his parent's house and if that does not work, find ways to avoid you and your daughter being home when your sd is there. 

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 12:39pm

In your last post you were making plans to leave and talking about a lawyer - so what's stopping you proceeding along these lines? 

Survivingstephell's picture

Submitted by Survivingstephell on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 12:43pm

I skimmed your previous blogs.  Looks like you hold a good deal of power.  Time to use it.  Give DH an ultimatum, get a job, parent your daughter so I don't have to or leave.  He is a grown man who is using you.  Asking you to cover for his bad parenting. Smh....  I'm sure BM can use the break from her daughter but that doesn't mean you are the required caretaker for SD.  Maybe BM could take him in , since she already has a blow up bed handy.  
 

Reclaim your power. You be much happier in a few days, weeks, next year. Or you can put up with the same old crap and nothing changes. Your own daughter needs to see a strong woman. You want this life for her ????  

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Tue, 08/11/2020 - 1:09pm

He has no job(by choice) and is sponging off you. His daughter treats you and yours like crap and he doesn't seem to care. He sleeps with said daughter and not you. 

I know what it's like to get attached. To have a bad situation seem comfortable and change to seem scary. But, this guy does not seem to want to change any of these things. If he were begging you to let him stay and saying he will change, maybe. But as it is, there is nothing for you here. Rip off the bandaid, go no contact, and be done!