Pregnant SD wants to move in says its temporary...Part 2
So...my SD had the baby and both are good. I didn't go to hospital with my H because I didn't feel like I was welcome there. I wanted to go and he wanted me to go, but I didn't. Things are getting a little better with H. I told him that me and SD were alot alike and therefore we cannot coexist in the same house. We can be around each other for awhile visiting but to live together is like pouring gas on a fire! I hate to say this but I pray she doesnt try to move back again. He put the offer back on the table for her and we had words again over that! Since we have moved we havent had 5 minutes alone in this house....there is ALWAYS somebody here......I'm pulling my hair out. I guess I have turned into some type of recluse...since I have became sick I just like my alone time. There are days I just cannot function no matter how hard I try and it makes me so frustrated. My nerves are just out of control right now....getting married, moving, being sick, worrying about my own daughter and her pregnancy ......then SD moving in and all the arguing!!!! My little dog is the only thing keeping me halfway sane right now and her nerves are shot too! LOL
Oh how I pray that SD does not try to come back!!! I think deep down H knows shes a mess. I know she is his daughter and he worries. I understand that, I am constantly worrying about my girls...its just what us parents do. But she is an adult now and I believe that H needs to quit petting her, making everything easy for her. It's time for some tough love.....she needs to learn to stand on her own and accept the consequences for the mistakes she has and is making. I really wish her no harm. I want to love her and her children and have them over for visits...not to live. I'm so thankful for finding this site...to just have a place to vent. Sometimes just writing about it helps to relieve some stress. Thank you for letting me do that.......
PRAYING FOR US ALL
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Comments
I think you're going to have
I think you're going to have to be more precise about your expectations because your DuH doesn't seem to understand.
When you say you can stand your SD "visiting" please make sure he understands that this means NO OVERNIGHTS.
Sit him down and explain to him with simple sentences (subject, verb, object) and words of no more than two syllables that you expect, no, demand to be able to build a home. That your home is not like a store where anyone and everyone can walk in and do as they please short of stealing. That any decision concerning said home HAS to be run past you. That, as his wife, you expect, nay demand, at least one date night per week with him (it doesn't have to be expensive and it doesn't have to involve going out to dinner.
Finally, if he doesn't start behaving like a loving husband that things are going to go very badly for him. Very badly indeed.
Punctuate the above with appropriate Gibbs-slaps.
PS
Print out your wedding vows in a large, readable-from-the-other-side-of-the-room font, and stick them on a wall where he (and any visitors) cannot miss them.
What you're describing is my
What you're describing is my worst fear in life.
My skid is just the type who would listen to a boy's pretty words and end up knocked up. Because she's not smart and her mom has taught her through example that pregnancy is how you get a man to stay.
I would break up with my partner before I allowed his adult children to move in.
Oh how I pray that SD does
Oh how I pray that SD does not try to come back!!!
Why is this even an option? I would make this very CLEAR to H that SD moving in would never happen, especially since you both don't "vibe" well together. If he wants to cater to her every whim he needs to do so outside the home on HIS time but you will not be a part of it. Make sure you leave no room for him to assume ANYTHING. You have to remain firm on this and that it is a hill to die on (if it is). Create boundaries its the only way to go.
Remember moving in is not an option