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Well DH is finally seeing SD true colors

Momof2Girls's picture

Submitted by Momof2Girls on Mon, 04/15/2019 - 11:26pm

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Adult Stepchildren

well my H decided to snoop on his daughter and saw a lot of text messages between SD and BM.

he is now hurt and feels SD is disengaging which she is. I still think we all need therapy. The two of them don’t.

 

how do I get my SD and H go to family therapy? Without forcing the subject??

Lady.Tremaine's picture

Submitted by Lady.Tremaine on Tue, 04/16/2019 - 12:39am

Why isn't SD living with her mom? I looked through your posts and if she is shit talking she needs out.

Eff her anxiety . She's an adult now and can't be causing issues. Also why did your h decide it was a good call to Snoop on his adult kids phone? Unless he pays the bill for it that's illegal

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Tue, 04/16/2019 - 8:15am

I'm confused.  I thought SD's "true colors" were that she's socially anxious and has no friends; and therefore she sits in your house all the time driving you crazy.  What prompted DH to snoop (not OK, by the way)?  Why do you want to go to therapy?

If she's an adult and doesn't want to be there (I assume she was trashing DH and you to BM), then it's time for her to go.

Jcksjj's picture

Submitted by Jcksjj on Tue, 04/16/2019 - 10:29am

I doubt therapy will be very effective even if you convinced them to go if they really dont want to and dont think they need help. I'd just stay out of their relationship, that's between them. Focus on your own relationship with DH and if the drama from SD is spilling over into your relationship address that in particular with him.

sandye21's picture

Submitted by sandye21 on Tue, 04/16/2019 - 12:10pm

There is absolutely nothing you can do in this situation except be supportive of your DH and let him handle it on his own.  If you try to force them into therapy you will get the brunt of the anger they have with each other.  Please stay out of it.  Is SD our of your home yet?  If not, it's definitely time for her to go.  I know you gave her a timeframe to be out but this is a deal breaker.  She needs to go now.

Momof2Girls's picture

Submitted by Momof2Girls on Tue, 04/16/2019 - 3:38pm

There is no timeframe except her somewhat plans to go to a dorm next fall 2020. That’s still in the air

SD doesn’t want to go to therapy, she tried it and didn’t like it too bad. She needs therapy for constant anxiety and not being able to open up to her Dad my DH who she know lives with 

 

she goes crying to BM all the time. I think she is taking advantage of my H paying for school, free place to live etc.my husband gives her the benefit of the doubt all the time 

 

 

Momof2Girls's picture

Submitted by Momof2Girls on Tue, 04/16/2019 - 7:39pm

Do I have to have a relationship with my SD who lives in my home?