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Skids clothing... I finally see.

steppingback's picture

Submitted by steppingback on Sat, 03/02/2019 - 4:38pm

My skids were mostly grown and lived with us, never with BM. Clothes exchanges were never an issue. Here  over the years here I have read many times about good clothes going to BM's and dingy clothes keep coming back. And now with the grandskids I finally see it. From reading here I learned to buy good quality used clothing, easy washing, colors the kids like.  Gapkids etc. They come back to visit in dingy clothes. I am going to keep buying them clothes, because their mom could use the help. She works hard. Just a bit exasperated.

Comments

Wilhelm's picture

Submitted by Wilhelm on Sat, 03/02/2019 - 10:40pm

Good idea. I had the clothes issue. If I purchased good quality clothes they disappeared to BMs house. If anything else was bought it was not touched. During counciling sessions DH was told skids wanted more clothes at his house. There were never any because skids took tbe ones they liked each time they visited.

Cooooookies's picture

Submitted by Cooooookies on Sun, 03/03/2019 - 12:17am

She works hard... at finding more rags that Grandma will replace for free.  Stealing and pretending you don't know what you're doing as an adult is not hard work. It's just stealing.

Send the grandkids back wearing the same clothes they come to your house in.   That's what we've all learned here.

GirlfriendMom's picture

Submitted by GirlfriendMom on Sun, 03/03/2019 - 3:53am

Especially if the kids are coming back STILL in tattered clothing after keeping your nice ones. I always send SD back in the clothing she sends her in if I can help it. Clothing her dad buys her is whatever because usually he doesnt care if it comes back but if I buy them, you better believe they stay at our house. Espeically shoes. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sun, 03/03/2019 - 7:15am

When SS was coming over, I just bought lots of clearance rack and Goodwill clothes and he could take whatever he wanted back and forth. It was much easier than fighting over clothes.  Luckily he didn't care much what he wore, but also, I love to bargain hunt, so it was fun to find good stuff cheap for him. Clothes were probably the only thing that didn't cause conflict because of this strategy.

steppingback's picture

Submitted by steppingback on Sun, 03/03/2019 - 9:11am

We have been keeping a few good toys here otherwise they won't come back, even if they are presents. As far as clothes go, mom knows I will keep buying them clothes so I don't get why she would intentionally dress them as they are.  Just wondering where those clothes go? I don't want to over buy for the kids but clothes seem to be something I can do and I love to bargain hunt too. I always make sure to buy a matching everyday outfit and socks! Lots of socks

This place has always been very helpful I helping sort out which battles to pick.

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Sun, 03/03/2019 - 9:28am

"Hard-working BM" is not getting CS

steppingback's picture

Submitted by steppingback on Sun, 03/03/2019 - 6:41pm

I don't know what she is getting. The father, my ss, is unreliable but it won't be much.

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Sun, 03/03/2019 - 1:08pm

Some situations you must let go...this is one of them. Control what you can IN your own home.

Dress the children the way you want to when they are with you. Send them back home in the crappy clothing BM dressed them in to come to your place. Clean and laundered of course.

I know of some BM's who are given new stuff then turn around and sell them on EBAY. They had quit a rackett going on. OR run around to yard sales and buy racks of clothing for a few bucks and re-sell 300 percent mark up.

Dont be used op...