Hiding Food
DH and I are struggling with an issue with SD12 and I could use some opinions. SD12 is slightly overweight. Her doctor told DH (in private) that SD12 needs to start exercising more and cutting her portion sizes. He told DH that she needs to lose 25lbs to get back into her healthy weight class. He told DH not to put her on a diet or make a big deal of it, but to start regulating what she eats.
This has really turned into a problem because SD12 wants to eat everything in sight. She will eat healthy meals. I have started adding salads as appetizers to our meals and replacing deserts/snacks with fruit. But this kid, she finds ways to make everything unhealthy. Part of the blame is mine and DH's schedules since we are both at work when she gets home. She always wants a snack so I took an idea from Steptalk and set up a snack box. It has granola, rice cakes and other healthy options. She can have 1 snack from the box and one piece of fruit when she gets home. The problem is that we found out that she was supplementing these items with fattening things, such as eating granola but mixing a cup of peanut butter into it. DH straightened this out and told her no more. It took us a few weeks to figure out what she was doing.
The other problem is dinner time. No matter what I make for dinner, she tries to eat as much as humanly possible. An example is that I made chicken tacos the other night. To make it healthier, I added peppers and onions to the chicken. Then I supplemented that with white rice. We put very little cheese on them. And, I added salsa, but no sour cream. I made her two big burritos, stuffed with mostly peppers, rice and salsa. I made my DH the same size plate. At the end of dinner, DH (who is 6'1'', 250lbs and works out in the sun all day) was full. SD12 asked for another huge burrito. When DH told her no, she pouted and told her mom that we are starving her.
It has gotten to the point that I actually make our plates and put all the leftovers away before dinner to try and discourage her from having seconds or thirds. This isn't always fair to my two kids, who eat less and eat much slower. Truthfully, SD12 and DH probably eat double what me, DS13 and DD6 eat. I am at my wits end. I feel bad tellling her no more food. And then we get to hear from BM about how we are starving her.
Anyone have any ideas how we can curb this behavior? I really don't want SD12 to get heavy. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and I know how hard it is. I really dont' want that for her. Any advice would be appreciated.
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I have run into the same
I have run into the same issue with my ss8. He seems to think if there is food he should eat it all. At dinner he races through what he was given and then wants more before everyone else has even had time to make a plate. He is 8 years old 4'2" and 70+ pounds. At his last check up the doctor point blank told him less tv and eating and more outside playing. We finally just had to start telling him no he couldnt have more. For whatever reason he seemed to think that he should have as much as my DS15 and DS17 and there is just no reason I can think of that a child that young should eat as much as a very large almost adult. (Think 6'4 180 pounds very lean and tall)
We dont deal with a BM since she abandoned the kids with us years ago but if I did I would probably just ask if that child even looks close to starving? Didn't think so.....
Some of what you are doing
goes against what would be recommended. Stuffing the burrito with rice, peppers and salsa instead of adding less rice, more chicken, cheese (protein and healthy fat), a bit of sour cream and veggies would be better. Granola with peanut butter? Peanut butter is the healthier of the two options.
I understand what you are
I understand what you are saying. We are just trying different ideas. The problem is no matter what we make, her portion sizes are out of control. She eats healthy but it doesnt do any good if she eats double what she should be.
sugars
You can use honey for a sweetner instead of sugars. I know peanut butter is sometimes touted as healthy, but it has a lot of sugar in it so maybe some brand that has less sugar. beans and hummus might be more filling along with a high protein content. you have to watch granola because some are really bad. Oatmeal is filling and stuff like quinoa. i would ignore her comment about being starved as she obviously isn't being starved. Is there some school group she could join so that she's not at home by herself before diiner? maybe even a school club?
You're not alone
My guess would be that you are facing more of an 'emotional eating disorder' situation than a functional diet situation.
Sent you a PM, but actually have little advice .... it is incredibly frustrating to feel so helpless to affect a change.
It would help
If you just do not buy certain bad thing. So they are not in the house. Ice cream, candy, chips, But buy fruit and keep that in your home. If she want to snack there are only healthy thing to eat.
Have her drink a large glass
Have her drink a large glass of water before eating. And do the same yourselves. Tell her it's to help digest the food or something. The water will make her feel fuller and therefore less likely to overeat.
However, it sounds to me like it's comfort eating ...
This is hard. SS12 is a bit
This is hard. SS12 is a bit "husky" as well, and is even self-conscious about his weight and size. I did put rules into place, not even because of his weight, but to teach skids healthy eating habits and because they were eating just to eat, which gets expensive! Now, no snacking after dinner, we don't buy soda, and they need to pick somewhat healthy snacks after school. They get 1 dessert after dinner. SS9 asks before she takes a snack, and I know a lot of kids do. Does your SD have to ask before she can have a snack? Yes it's a bit food-policeish, but LOTS of kids have to ask before they get a snack, so I don't think it's a bad thing. I had to when I was young.
I have sat skids down and told them, especially SS, that the food rules are because we want them to be healthy and not have to fight against their weight in the future- and also, because it costs money. SS is more aware of calories now and how food can affect his body. We don't want him to have to be constantly worried, but he has broken down crying because he is so self-conscious (we do assure him he isn't fat, but he feels he is) so I feel it's in his best interest to make him aware. Have you really explained to SD, and even explained your own struggles? I think as a kid it's hard to say no to food (ok, and as an adult too), but sometimes them knowing the reasons behind things can make them think about it more. Aside from all of that, you can only do so much.