Why do I care where I stand???
Okay, I hope I'm not the only one that has this same problem! It's really childish, but BM is coming over early to pk up ss10 b/c they have plans in town and usually pk up is at grandma's....I don't even want her near or in my apartment after what happened to my van last wknd. 
I'm having issues over where I will stand, how far in the house do I let her come in, what do I wear???, do I keep BS4 in his room w/me? (She is always giving him those "disapproving looks" and makes comments about him being too loud when ss10 is on the phone w/her) BS4 is just a child and wants to talk and be friends w/everyone, he always tries to talk to her and she ignores him. I want to say something to her, but I don't want to do it in front of ss10 b/c he is already extremely high strung when we are all in the same room. And I can't trust talking to her on the phone, she always hangs up when someone says something she dsn't like, and if I talk to her in person I am liable to knock her f'n teeth out!
I know it shouldn't matter, but these are the crazy things I have been thinking about alllllll morning!
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we do that even if Bm's
we do that even if Bm's parents are picking him up. We watch for them to pull in the driveway and kick his ass out the door. He's usually excited to go over to their house anyway, so he doesn't know the difference. If you just watch out for her, then when you see her, say "oh, there she is, better hurry and get you stuff. Then open the door and wait to see her coming toward the apt and see him off. She should know exactly why the exchange is happening that way.
I agree DO NOT LET HER COME
I agree DO NOT LET HER COME IN YOUR HOME! That is probably what she is wanting....to see what all you guys have. Why does she have to come to your apartment? Why can't you meet her down the street? Or say that you will meet her at the playground if your apartment complex has one-say you are taking BS4 to play. She is rude to your little one b/c she is obviously jealous.
I also agree on what they said about dressing as you would if you were going out shopping. Wear your hair down if you like just don't put curls in it like you are actually trying. Wear your favorite jeans and a casual top. And yes, send SS out the door and just say Hi and leave it at that.
Talked to DH and he is
Talked to DH and he is totally w/you guys on this one! He already has ss10 getting all his stuff together so he is ready when she gets here.
DH sd he will walk him out just so I don't have to look at her! He is just as high strung about her as I am. LOL!
He is more mad about the van than I am. His big thing was the fact that she wrote "fat" on there, he soooo didn't want to tell me when he saw it. He knew it would hurt more than the "B" word. He sd he would love to knock her on her ass just one time! And he rarely gets mad about anything!! :shocked:
Well, I'll take your advice and let you know how it goes!!