I need advice! My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months (have been friends for 2 years) and he has a six-year-old daughter and 3-year-old son.

This past October my boyfriend lost his old job and got a new one with a different schedule that kind of conflicts with his custody schedule.

For backstory: His custody schedule is Thursday 7am to Sunday 8pm.

His old work schedule was Tuesday-Friday 8am-5pm so he had his father watch his kids on Thursday and Friday during his work time and he would watch them the rest of the time.

With his new schedule, he works Friday-Tuesday 7am-6:30pm (horrible schedule) so I agreed to watch his kids Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

The kids and I get along great, we have fun and together we established rules for when they come over such as 'ask before you grab something' 'listen', 'sharing is caring' 'indoor voices' etc. Even though I have no kids of my own, I'm a preschool teacher so I am used to dealing with kids.

The little boy follows the rules easily and reacts well to time-out and consequences. It's the little girl I have issues with. She has a very veeery hard time following rules as simple as saying 'please and thank you'. She always expects a reward for good behavior and announces anytime she is behaving. This is hugely due to the fact that her grandfather spoils her to the max, she has no rules at his house, and minimum rules at her mother's.

Her attitude lately has been really sour, demanding things, and protesting when her brother gets something and she doesn't.

Last week while their dad was at work, I took them to Target to buy some cheap toys for the boy because he has none at my house (the girl has tons). The girl protested that it wasn't fair that she wasn't getting anything and that she was mad at her brother (she proceeded to push him and taunt him). I called her out and told her there would be consequences if she didn't stop. I explained how she had just gotten new toys from her grandpa last night (a mermaid doll and bath toys) while her brother had gotten none. The grandpa of the kids yells, cusses, severely punishes the boy while he spoils, praises, and continuously compliments the girl.

On our way out of Target, the girl started spinning around on the elevator. I told her to stop and when she did, something fell out of her pocket. She gasped with a guilty/shocked look on her face and the lady in the elevator with us said 'Uh oh! That's not good'. Realizing that what fell out of her pocket was a toy from the dollar section, I immediately grabbed her hand and scolded her in front of everyone.

I was in complete shock and didn't know how to react. I told her that I was going to tell both her mom and dad and that they were going to decide whether or not to 'call the cops'. I wanted to scare her a little bit without traumatizing her to make sure she understood the severity of her actions.

A couple of weeks ago the little girl told me that her uncle (who lives at the girl's house) told her that if something is out of its packaging at the store, you can take it home. Shocked, I asked her if her uncle took stuff from the store. She said that yes, he steals stuff all the time. I explained that stealing is not ok, that if you get caught stealing you will go to jail and I explained what jail is. She said she wouldn't steal because she doesn't want to go to jail where she won't see her mommy or daddy.

This is why I was in shock, because she completely understands that what she did was wrong.

When her dad found out, he was livid and decided that her punishment would be no Christmas. She will not get any toys from anyone and that he is going to donate most of her toys to charity. The little girl has literally the whole living room full of toys (thanks to her grandpa who buys her toys almost every other week).

I feel bad that her punishment has to be that severe but she doesn't react to anything else. My boyfriend doesn't believe in spanking but he yells, scolds her, takes away play time and tv time, but nothing works. She doesn't respect him, laughs at his face, and pretends to cry to make him feel bad.

My boyfriend has felt guilty in the past because of the divorce he went through and the split custody and all that so he did contribute to her spoiled behavior for a while. However he believes it has been long enough (2 years) for her to adjust to their new life and that this behavior and actions aren't because of that or because of me.

What can we do with her? Everyone I talk to says it's not my responsibility as she is not my daughter and I am not married to my boyfriend, but we practically live together and I see his kids more than he does at this moment.

The kids' mother smokes, drinks, parties, and partakes in drug/drug activities. Her brother steals, is openly gay (nothing wrong with that) but has intense PDA in front of the kids, and smokes & drinks in front of the kids. The grandma spanks them and yells at them. The little girl knows about sex, how babies are born, what weed smells like, that 'God isn't real', all thanks to her mom who openly talks to her about all of this. She is encouraged to partake in adult conversation and is praised when she questions her elders.

How do we help this little girl when her innocence is taken away at her mom's house? How do we teach her that all of that is wrong when multiple people are teaching her that it is right?

We can't go for full-custody without evidence (we tried), so how do we get evidence of the negative effect the mother and her family are having on my step-child?

What do we do?!!!