We're debating putting SD9 in counseling.
Backstory:
BM is very unstable. Not necessarily mentally, but in just about every other aspect of life. Since I've been involved in the skids lives, about 5.5 years, BM has had 6 different jobs, numerous periods of unemployment, 5 different live-in BFs, 7 different homes. She left for 6 month to live 2 hours away with the guy she'd dated for 3 weeks, only saw the kids EOWe. The kids are only a priority for her when it's convenient (no BF, family event, etc).
She's currently pregnant, due mid August. She doesn't work, lives with BF, half of his check goes to CS for another kid. Minimally involved in kids school/activities/events. She tells kids she doesn't want their activities to interrupt her time with them, it's our fault she doesn't get them more, she's so sad, etc. She signed the CO papers, she knew what they said.
SD is very emotional, super sensitive and almost overly empathetic. She sometimes will get upset because "she's not thinking about mom" or "but mom needs us."
Our concern: Once BM has her baby, she will A)make kids feel guilty about not being there more, Ignore the kids and slack even more on visitation and events, or C) A then B. It may end up being nothing.
Should we put SD in counseling now, or wait and see what happens? We don't want to make their new sibling seem like a bad thing by jumping the gun, but we also want SD to be able to cope if things change for the worse for them. SS11 is high-functioning Autistic/ODD/ADHD, so he's already in a number of therapies. Our concern is for SD, because this will also be right around the time school starts back up, new class, new routine, etc. What do you all think?