First of all, thank you for your responses and PMs from my last post.

I was in a pretty dark place and couldn't see my way out of it. I have dealt with a lot of adversity in my life and because of that have always been careful to pick and choice what shit I will deal with and what I can let go. It have just been feels like there is too much to deal with right now that can't be pushed aside.

That being said, I am feeling a little better. After a solid week of me barely speaking to him and SD16, on Sunday night after he took her home he came back to find me already in bed at 7pm. He asked if I was ok. I shrugged. He asked if it would be ok if he played his video game for a while. I didn't even look at him and just said, 'whatever you want'. He paused a moment in the doorway before going back downstairs.

I had dozed off when a couple hours later he came to bed (something he hasn't done in a long time). He climbed in behind me and put his arm around me. "I'm sad that you're sad" he says.

"DH, I've been sad for months. You're just noticing now?"
"I've noticed. I'm sorry I haven't said anything."
"That makes me feel like you don't care."
"I know and you're right. I have been wrapped up in myself the last few months. I hate that I can't provide for you the way I should be. But now that I have started school again, things will get better. Please don't give up on me. You're my rock and I don't know what I would do without you."

This gave me a little peace since he's not one to admit he's wrong too often...but then I got mad.

I turned to face him and said, 'You have sat on the couch for the last year wallowing in your self pity. I have tried to tell you to be patient with the healing/retraining process. You shut down on me and SD16 noticed and her attitude toward me mirrored yours. I don't ask for much in life. The little things are what makes me happy. I should not come home to laundry and dishes and no dinner after putting in a 11-15 hour day when you are home. You have no idea how maddening that is that when I had broncitis, I was still expected to do groceries while you played your video games. If you can't treat me the way you expect to be treated, we will not work. I don't expect you to be perfect, I'm sure not, but I really need you to think about how your actions impact me more often, not just when you decide to notice that I'm 'sad'. Taking 30 minutes a day to straighten up the house, throw in a load of laundry, load or unload the dishwasher and make some damn spaghetti once in while would take a lot of pressure off of me. I won't live my life busting my ass if you don't appreciate it."

He was silent for a few minutes and I was expecting his usual, "I don't want to talk about this anymore" speach. But he finally nodded and said that he will try and do better.

Time will tell, but I spoke my mind and I feel a bit stronger today.