My beloved cat (I'll call him Paws), who was like a son to me, passed away at age 11 a few days ago. I was nothing short of devastated. He was my baby and the pain is debilitating at times. To make it worse, BF left to go out of town the day Paws died & doesn't return until this Friday! I don't cry easily or often, but I've been crying for days now. Paws was part of my heart and soul. Everyone that knew Paws (even those who disliked cats), thought he was the coolest cat ever - a great personality, heart of gold, good-looking, friendly and didn't hurt a fly. We shared an unconditional love that most people don't experience in their lifetime. So why do I write this on ST?
My BF has 2 kids (SD15 & SS12) who we've shared 50/50 custody with BM for over 6 years now. We're not married yet & I've never been married before or had my own kids. So I've always thought that the skids just "tolerated" me. Not to say that we've had a bad relationship, we actually have a pretty good one! But the skids are typical skids - a bit spoiled, unappreciative, expect everything to be handed to them, don't do chores, etc... I didn't really think the skids would care if Paws got sick or even fell off the face of the Earth - I didn't think it would affect them at all. I must admit, I always thought they'd laugh if anything bad happened to Paws, because they'd see it as something bad happening to me (and I always thought they'd smirk at that, courtesy of BM's PASinating them).
I was wrong. The skids were with BM when I notified them via. text that Paws died. They both texted me back about how sorry they were and had some really nice things to say about Paws. They both also called me and I thought I actually heard tears in their voices! SS12 told me that he cried when he got my text, then SD15 started crying, and then BM CRIED FOR PAWS, too!!! Has Hell frozen over or something?
But SS12 really surprised me with his texts - here are some excerpts of the texts between he & I the day Paws died:
Me: "Paws died today."
SS12: "OMG are you OK?"
Me: "Very sad right now, thanks. so sweet of u to ask"
SS12: "Awwwwwwww if u need to talk to somebody u can call me anytime! I want to go to ur house and go to Paws' kitty memorial, and see him and just say bye."
Me: "Thanks SS12, that is so sweet of you. I really appreciate it."
SS12: "And Dad's away so who is helping you out with everything with Paws and stuff?" (I assume this is because I told him during our earlier phone conversation Paws would be buried in the backyard when he asked).
Me: "Uncle Bob is coming over after work to help me." (BF's brother, SS12's uncle)
SS12: "Alright. I'll text u later. Feel better. I'm so sorry."

Just the fact that SD15 & SS12 cried and actually showed me their grief over losing Paws shocked me to the core! I now have a renewed sense of faith in my relationship with BF & especially with skids. These past 6 years of living with them and co-parenting with BF is finally starting to pay off. We, as SM's get no credit for the good things we do, and nothing but a bunch of drama from their BM's - damned if we do, damned if we don't. I always believed that maybe ONE DAY the skids would grow to realize that I try to love them & treat them as if they're my own (with no help from BM's PAS'ing of course) and that maybe someday they'd look back at the good person I always was to them and thank me...or at least just told me that they care and appreciate everything I've done for them their whole lives (a girl can dream, can't she?).
SS12 calls or texts me every day since Paws died and asks how I'm doing, or what I'm doing today, or if he can help. He told me that he told his friends at school about Paws' passing (we often have his friends over our house for weekend sleepovers & SS12's bday parties, etc...) and they were so sad, too. He said he told them that, you know, Paws was HIS CAT, TOO since he LIVED WITH PAWS FOR 6 YEARS! I almost FELL OVER when SS12 said that! I said OF COURSE PAWS WAS YOUR CAT, TOO AND HE LOVED YOU SOOOO MUCH, SS12!! I never knew that the skids considered Paws a member of their family (I brought Paws with me when I moved in with BF & skids 2 yrs ago & dated BF for 4 years before that and the skids have known Paws for 6 years). I almost CRIED SO HARD when SS12 said that he told his friends that, like he was SO PROUD that Paws was HIS CAT too & part of his family & that he was hurting.
Just the thought of how SS12 has reacted to Paws' death has shed a new light on my relationship with skids and has softened my heart towards them (and maybe a little towards BM, too).