Yep- got drunk and told off DH's friend.

I actually like this guy. I really do. He is one of DH's closest friend. He spends a lot of time with him. He is also the one that DH ran to for blankets (previous blog) when him and MSD were forced by evil wicked SM to sleep on the floor of a vacant apartment. }:)

Friday night we had friends over. Drinking and cooking out.

Friend brings up that basically I need to accept the skids. DH talks to him about it and the problems. Blah blah blah.

I told Friend, I do not want to talk about this. He keeps insisting on trying to convince me :? how I am wrong and how I need to embrace the skids.

So I basically just went the F off.. on friend but also on DH.

I am so sick of being judged on what kind of SM I am when DH is a half ass father. Oh and I let that be known.

I talked about every shitty thing that the skids have done to me. How they have lied, stolen, manipulated and caused trouble.

I talked about how DH parents when its convienent for him. How he is only a dad when its convienent for him.

How he sucks as a husband (that was mostly me drunk) and as a dad.

It was a lot of pent up anger and agression. I was def. the crazy woman that night.

Not proud of my behavior or how I reacted. I know it had a lot to do with my previous week being very stressed and of course drinking.

But I am so sick of DH's friends thinking he is some awesome Dad and it's ME that causes the issues or doesnt allow him to be a parent.

I have never nor would I ever keep that man from his children. I let him do whatever he needs to do with them as long as it doesnt include my home (since he cant parent them when they are here and keep their sticky fingers out of my jewerly and make up). If I choose to not have a relationship with those kids, then so be it. LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT.

I told everyone there and told DH, if you dont like it- DIVORCE me then.

I really blame DH. He is the reason we have these issues. He is the reason we are where we are. Because he is a poor communicator, a lazy parent and a lazy husband.

Not sure how I feel about everything. DH and I have been having issues for months now......