DH and BM had a court date today. DH has primary custody of SS and BM has EOWe and two weeks on/off during the summer which works out to her having 23% custody.

The court was full of people with cases through the department of child support services. They called BM and DH into an office to review the recommendation. The case worker assumed BM was the custodial parent and that she had the RO against DH ...even though it was the other way around. DH is not currenlty working and is staying home taking care of our baby and our other 4 children. BM works 5 hours a week. The recommendation from the child support lawyer was that they impute DH for minimum wage income and that HE pay BM money for child support.

WTF!!!!

Today's hearing was just to establish paternity. The caseworker and lawyer suggested he drop it to ensure he did not have to pay BM anything.

DH was LIVID and said things to the caseworker like,

"if I was the woman, they'd make an order for her to find work"
"she's a lazy deadbeat mom and I'm only NOW asking for help after 9 years"

BM said to DH,

"You think YOU have it bad. I just got out of a bad relationship where my BF through me out of a car and I have to file for my OWN restraining order"

DH was like, "WTF ... and you want to bring my child into that kind of environtment?"

BM also said, "well, your wife makes lots of money... I'm going to tell them that you put SS in private school...why are you always abusing me?... why can't WE get along like step off does with her ex? ... I won't take SS to football this summer, you'll have to file for a change in custody of you'd like him to go."

DH is angry.

We give up. I told DH not to bother with a change in custody for summer. SS has NO idea what is involved with HS football. He told his mom last summer that he didn't want to play "tackle" football when we told him we'd put him in pop warner... after he begged us and the judge ordered all parties to support him.

BM can play the victim. SS will need to learn that that is his mother and that she's not willing to provide for him.

Dh said, "well, he can do boy scouts and Xyz". I said, "No, we're not enrolling him in anythign else that his mother wont' be taking him to. She's not helping with the money and he's going to have to realize that he has TWO parents and only one is willing to provide and that will make a difference in his life."