Does anyone else do this?
I just want to know if anyone else ever experiences this.
I absolutely HATE listening to my SS talk about his mom, SF or his birthday parties or other things at his BM's house. I never say anything, and nod my head in interest, and pretend like everything is cool...
But whenever he brings it up it really annoys me. There's enough baggage there to cause the reaction, but coupled with the fact that most of his stories are either not based in reality (he compares everything we do, only mom did it first, and better), or based in something really awful (for example, we just got the kids a trampoline...BM and SF already got the kids a trampoline...for free...by taking it from a neighbor's yard that had left it unused in the yard for two weeks). I know there's not a whole lot I can do about it, except take it all in stride, and ignore, but hey, the tagline for this place says "where step-parents come to vent" and I'm venting. It's annoying to me.
There. I admitted it.
I agree with 'tog's comment
I agree with 'tog's comment above and I think you're on the right track. Feign minimal interest and as he matures he'll catch on you're not all that interested and you'll be hearing less and less on the subject.
I don't think it's really a
I don't think it's really a snotty way honestly. It's more of a "my mom sucks, I better play her up to dad and SM and myself so it doesn't hurt so bad to admit it."
I get really annoyed when SD5
I get really annoyed when SD5 talks about her BM. I don't agree with a ton of things BM does so it really irritates me that she looks up to her mother so much, but it's only expected. I don't blame the kid, but it's still annoying. I just nod and go along with it. I don't make any comments, though, except "oh that's cool" and the like.
I understand how infuriating
I understand how infuriating your Skid must be with his "mom's is better" bullshit.
Fortunately my Skid never played those cards. Mainly because his Sperm Clan was so toxic that they were already busting his chops about his mom and I, how SS did not need the things he had and how he was spoiled, etc....... At a very young age SS knew that there were many things very wrong with his NCP Sperm Clan. His mom and I never badmouthed the Sperm Idiot or Sperm Clan. We would counter any crap they spouted with facts and we would share those facts in an age appropriate manner with SS. We always asked about his Sperm Land visitation trips. We were truly interested. He is 21 and has been out from under the CO for nearly 4 years and when we talk with him we ask how his 3 younger half sibs and the adult Sperm Clan members are doing.
Even my parents (The Step GPs) would express interest about his Sperm Land visits. My mother who never has a bad thought or word about anybody was mortified when SS shared what Sperm Grandma would say about my wife and I and my family. Now refers to the Sperm Clan as "Those people" which for her is strong language.
All SS ever heard from the Sperm Clan (most notably Sperm Grandma) was how I was not his REAL dad and my parents were not his REAL grandparents, my wife stole him from his Sperm Idiot, my wife would not give them more visitation (that one is very true), SS is spoiled, CS takes food out of the three younger Sperm Idiot spawned half sibs by two more baby mamas, blah, blah, blah......
We wanted SS to share his Sperm Land experiences with us. That gave us information that we could use to protect him from the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool.
He has had little to do with his Sperm Clan since he turned 18 and he has less to do with them every year.
It doesn't bother me...but
It doesn't bother me...but they really only talk about normal everyday things, just like they would discuss anybody else they may have been around and I'm sure they bring our side of the family up on occasion to her too. My skids are much older now too, but when they were young some other subjects came up, they grow out of it....or should.
My SS does this ALL the time.
My SS does this ALL the time. I thought he would grow out of it. But no. He is 20ish and still does it every time we see him. He talks about BM off and on the whole time he is here.
Skeeter, SS is 8, which is
Skeeter,
SS is 8, which is why I put up appearances that I'm supportive. It's so hard. I don't want him to dislike his BM, I just want him to understand that were he to try and do the stuff she and his SF do, he'll more than likely end up in jail. DH is fantastic at throwing the moral lessons of things at them...but I still fear the longer BM and SF do "shady" things and get away with it, the more likely the skids are to follow in their footsteps, because actions always speak louder than words. Unfortunately.
As for your family...honestly, if I were in your shoes, I pack up my stuff, and go travel the world. It's a bucket-list dream of mine, and it certainly wouldn't hurt to get you away from that nonsense, because while I'm closer in age to your grandchildren, I can tell you that the only thing you can do to keep yourself from conversations like that is to pick yourself up and go away. And my goodness, don't you deserve it after all these years of dealing!! Maybe we can start up a pay-pal vacation donation center for you