Ok so ill start with the family facts. We are not married but have been together for 2 years, known eachother for 5 years. His daughter is 9 and our son is 4months. We planned on getting married before baby was born but that didnt happen and we are still yet to be engaged.

I love my bf so much, but sd is very diffuicult for me to deal with. Shes lazy and rude and it makes me absolutely crazy. No 9 yr old shoulx be so out of shape that they cant run around to play basketbsll or soccer or whatever! And i mean in our yard for fun not on a team. She hates the idea of going outside and that completel. Stumps me. Im a fitness nut and this bothers me because its so unhealthy! She has a little gut and it honestly grosses me out sometimes. I know im suppose to accept her the way she is and blah blah blah but i feel like its a self destructive lifestyle and it kills me. Bf doesnt care that shes lazy because hes pretty lazy himsrlf,which is my biggest issue in our relationship, and i know her mom is super lazy and very artificial. She takes her shopping everyweekend with money she doesnt have, takes her to get her eyebrows threaded, shes creating a very high maintenance spoiled entitled little brat! Now when she lives with us, which is about 60% of the time, i feel uncomfortable in my own home. She glares at me with hateful eyes unless im actively doing something to please her. Its sohard because im so against futhering her spoiled llifestyl but somestimes is necessary for me to buy her crap in order to keep the peace in the house. And bf always takes her side in disagreements or whatever it may be which is very ineffective parenting. Im worried that with our baby im going to get overruled and my son wont listen to me beacuse his sister doesnt.

Now my relationship with bf is pretty good but we honestly dont have alot in common. Theres alot of thi.gs thst i enjoy that he despises that ive eliminated from my life that am i just now beginning to realize that i cant handle living without. When sd is with us all we do is fight which im sure is why she isnt very enthused about me. But dont get me wrong i love him very much, he has an amazing personality and alot of potential to be perfect for me, he just gets these negative attitudes that last too long that destroy our relationship. When o think about it i know i deserve much better but its complicated.

So i guess what im saying is that i do love bf but i want different things then what he has to offer. I would have broken up with him awhile ago if it wasnt for our son. I cant stand the thought of shared custody. I cant not have my baby with me. I disagree with alot of his parenting and dont want my son to be exposed to his dads destructive behavior. He has a bit of an unstable mind and that terrifies me. I dont want my son not to have a father but i honedtly dont believe he is fit to care for an infant. I keep telling myself, we'll stay together untill our son is 4 then we can split when he is more independant. I dont know how to win in this situation.

I know that was long, thanks for reading, advice is greatly appreciated