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Would you request a modification?

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

BM2 pays $50 a month in CS for SD11. DH has had custody of SD11 for years, despite the fact that BM2 has taken him to court a few times to try to get custody. She's unstable. Unreliable. We live in Alaska, and she moved to Georgia in October of 2012 with her newest guy (who she had then been dating for about 4 months). He is military.

She has 8 weeks a year of visitation in the summer.

She pays the state minimum because she has 4 younger children (two of whom are supposedly severely autistic). Her children, as of this year, all attend public school. She cried in court when CS was established and said that she couldn't work because she was a single mother, and paying more would take food from the mouths of her children.

The younger 4 children are NOT DH's kids. SD11 is her oldest child. She did NOT have custody of SD11 when she had these subsequent children.

I would like DH to file for an increase in CS. She is no longer a single mother. Her circumstances have changed. She now has a breadwinner at home, so she is no longer dependent on welfare to survive. Also, there is NO reason she can't work while her kids are in school. I want DH to ask the judge to impute income in her case and increase the CS.

Part of the reason I want this to happen is because BM moved to Georgia and the judge ordered us to contribute to the cost of the ticket in the summer, even though BM didn't move for work, and has NO custody.

DH doesn't want to do this because we are doing alright without the extra money and he is afraid that she will start lobbying for custody if $50 a month becomes several hundred dollars a month. He feels like it isn't worth the hassle.

It bothers me because we have 7 kids, and finances are often tight. I work hard and live small in large part because his children's mothers don't contribute as they should. I also understand his view, though. Courts are mommy centric and we are unlikely to get much from the court.

What would you do?

Comments

ltman's picture

She can't work because she has 4 kids? Oh hell no. But I would let sleeping bitches lie.

myspoonistoobig's picture

You've got seven kids and you think a CS modification for one would be worth the trouble?

I'm kind of doubting it. :?

Anon2009's picture

I have to agree with the others. Maybe it's better to let sleeping b!+ches lie.

It $ucks that BMs get away with this stuff in court. May the karma bus hit your SDs bm.

GoodbyeNormaJean's picture

*sigh* I think you ladies are probably right. And I hope it's okay, but just this once, I let him read the responses here.

At most, I'd only get another $200 a month, and honestly, I'd rather have to work harder than have her yanking SD11 around. She's not just a shitty mother, she's actually dangerous. The only reason she has custody of her younger 4 is that their dad is in jail for DV and a whole bunch of other stuff. I should probably just chalk it up to good luck that she moved away and hasn't bothered to contact SD11 for the past two months.

I'll just scrap that idea and be grateful that SD11 has my example and not BM2's example to follow day in and day out. Living here, she will NOT grow up to be a welfare queen (I have nothing against people that receive public assistance, but it's not right to make a career out of it and play the system, which she did for years). I don't want SD11 to be 15 and pregnant. I want her to grow up to take care of herself and be with someone for love, not out of necessity.

Thanks for the advice ladies. This was hard to hear, but I needed to hear it.

I'll let sleeping bitches lie.