DH is worming ss20 back into my home slowly, using the guilt factor.
I'm not sure how to react to this and I'm throwing it out on here to see how you all react. Dh wants ss20 to come over on thurs (remember he is homeless and jobless and living in his vehicle) to watch football, have supper and shower, do laundry and then DH wants ss to sleep in the shed. He says he wants ss to have a roof over his head and since I have said he can't live here he wants him to live in the unheated and half full shed. He is laying on the guilt like there is no tomorrow and this is about the last straw. I'm not even wanting to have him over for supper and laundry b/c we can hardly pay for our power bill as it is, let alone start letting ss over to do his laundry (about 5 loads) which is not only power but soap and downy and he never just uses a glug of soap it's always a cup per load. I am just about freaking out b/c when I arrive home from work at 7pm he is going to have been here all day in my (small) space and when he comes over he practically moves in anyhow, now with tons of laundry all over and then the whole sleeping in the shed.......???????
I KNOW if I give in to this it will be a matter of well it's too cold and he needs to sleep on the couch..... etc.
Oh my, what to do????
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Tell DH you will pay a
Tell DH you will pay a laundramat to do his laundry. Hos son may come to YOUR home for a shower but DH will have to take his son out for dinner. Then give him the numbers for the Salvation Army. His son needs to find his own chosen way in life.
I know where the salvation
I know where the salvation Army is b/c I used to volunteer there. I would not mind helping him out monetarily, like with laundry and so on, but the problem is is that he has bad mouthed me so much not only to DH but to BM and to DH's family. He is so difficult for me to like.
Funny how your DH apparently
Funny how your DH apparently has no problem with you being upset by your SS's behaviour... However now that behaviour has consequences for SS, it's a case of "Poor SS". Perhaps DH should have thought about it before and actually acted like a parent, because if your parents don't give you consequences to your actions, then life surely will!
I would say no way, to all of it.
1. Your DH can pay for SS to take his clothes to the laundry.
2. Your DH can pay to take his dear son out for a meal.
3. Your DH can get an extra job if he likes, and keep SS indefinitely - on his time and money, not yours.
The cheeky arse is trying to make YOU feel bad for something that is entirely down to his own por parenting and SS's actions. Don't fall for it.
UGH...your DH can really push
UGH...your DH can really push the envelope huh?
I think I would sit DH down and tell him...
"SS can come over for dinner and the game. We are behind on bills so he can only wash one load of clothes and no shower. Then after dinner, you can take him to the YMCA, homeless shelter, ect. The shed idea is absurd and out of the question. I know he is your son, but you can not expect me to welcome him with open arms after all he has done. He needs to grow up and get off your tit and support himself."