Stay at home moms.... how do you do it?

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Stay At Home Moms (including stepmoms)... how do you do it? I would NEVER make it as a stay at home mom.... There is WAY more work going on at home than at my job.... My job is a freaking vacation compared to going home! I'm really stressing out right now and feeling completly worthless; not to mention like a crappy mom..... Any advice or ideas would be much appreciated....

I like to think that I'm pretty organized.... I shop big once a week preparing for the following week's meals.... I keep a fairly clean home and have toned down my massive OCD tendancies in order to save some sense of sanity (so basically I'm not scrubbing down our home everynight).... bf is trying to get it through my head that the floors don't have to be mopped (which I do by hand to ensure I don't miss a spot) everynight.... that I can sweep or spot mop during the week and deep clean once a week.... I'm trying to learn but its SOOOO hard!! I am trying my hardest find balance but I don't think I'm doing a very good job, and when I don't deep clean everynight then I feel really crappy.... The crappy feeling usually kicks in around the end of the week when I'm itching to clean or have someone else do the dishes....

Anyway, I'm a failure.... it seems that no matter how hard I try to pre-plan the weeks meals I forget something.... whether its an avacodo or a tomato.... its something.... So there goes my organization skills.... what a great mom....

There NEVER seems to be enough time in the day.... I get off at 5:30pm, have the last kid picked up around 6:20pm on Fridays the last is picked up around 7pm, I run to the store to pick up whatever I forgot to get beforehand, get home, start dinner.... the whole time dinner is being made the kids are whining at me about how hungry they are.... I'm tryig to get them in the bath.... laundry needs to be done.... trying to keep things clean so there is not a huge mess to clean up after dinner.... cleaning up after the kids at the same time.... by the time we actually sit down to eat its 8:00pm.... and kids still need to take baths and work on homework! THIS IS INSANE!

And I gotta say that trying to tone down my OCD is a daily battle with myself (which I feel like I'm loosing by the end of each week).... I get so upset that I'm the only one who cleans up after dinner.... walks behind the kids picking up their neverending messes.... cleans the bathroom after them because not a one of them (bio and step alike) seem to know how to wipe water off the floor or wipe up the counter space.... I went to bed early last night (wasn't feeling well) and got up this morning and the mess from last nights dinner was sitting out.... AND there was spagetti sauce with a big chunk of mean stuck to a cabinet door.... bf is seriously oblivious to messes, he will spill something and think he wiped it up but I'll walk by minutes later and clearly see that something was spilt....

I don't get it....

I'm just annoyed this morning.... and bf is mad at me because I hid away in the bedroom last night.... I was in a crappy mood and just wanted to be alone.... plus I hide away when there is a looming mess beause I will stress if I see it and when I'm getting worn out I just want to lay down.... I want it to go away.... so I hide from it.

From the above I realize it looks like bf does nothing.... he does do alot too. We both work full time but the difference is that bf WORKS.... physically.... by the time he gets home hes beat.... Plus hes working graveyard right now, so he gets home around noon and goes to bed, he wakes up around I work in an office and by the end of the day my ass hurts from sitting on it too long.... I don't think it would be fair if I demanded bf (who is working graveyard btw) come home and do more physical work....

I just don't know what to do.... am I creating my own hell?

Tnanks in advance for any response.

You are in a losing battle!

You will drive yourself insane if you can't let go a little bit! I'm a stay at home mother of 4 (3 BK and 1 SK) and what I mean by stay at home.. is I work from a home office and take care of the kids while I'm working. I'm a little OCD about cleanliness myself but I've learned to let go a little. Forgetting things doesn't make you a bad mom.. it makes you a mom! There's no way (no matter how organized you are) that you can remember EVERYTHING for EVERYONE! And as far as messes, they will always be there, no matter how often or how vigorously you clean. No you can't expect bf to come home after physical work all day (or night) and expect him to do ALL the cleaning, however, he can pitch in and clean up after himself. The children too. Make a chore chart for the kids and follow up with rewards for work well done. Everyone needs to pitch in! And after a hard day at work, messes to be cleaned, dinner to be made, bath's to be given and laundry stacked to the ceiling.. know that you are a super mom for getting it all done (and just picture your immacculately clean, clutter free home.. After the kids grow up and move out!)
Hope I could help.. or at least brighten your day.

Thank you so much.....

Lord knows I need to let go (a bit).... Its just so hard.... I'm seriously wondering if I need to get medicated or something! The thing is that when the kids do help.... they do it all wrong! BF too.... it doens't get done to MY standards so I either get annoyed and tell them to go away so I could do it.... or I get pissy and stomp off to my bedroom to hide away....

I realize just how stupid this all sounds.... but at the same time its incredibly hard to stop it!

I'm thinking that maybe I should do the chore chart thing so everyone pitches in and then at least the bulk of the chore is done.... going through after them and fixing whatever they didn't do or did wrong would be easier than doing the whole job myself....