First, an update from my previous post: I talked it over with FDH. He said that what he meant was an "in the grand scheme of things" sort of thing, when he told me that I'm not the reason SD doesn't want to visit. He's not always the best at phrasing things, and, that's an issue for me that I own completely. But, whatever. Basically, it was his lazy way of saying that the reason SD doesn't want to visit is because GUBM forces opinions and shit on her because she's an alienating POS (that really wasn't news to me, though, because I've been aware of the alienation for a lot longer than FDH has been) and not because of some defect or fault of mine (which also wasn't really news to me because this is something I've had to come to terms with).

But, apparently, SD is willing to visit again. Maybe. He thinks she does, but he's not really sure because it's wishy washy. SD tells him she wants to visit, but, then goes off the grid for weeks at a time, which basically forces him to contact GUBM in order to get in touch with her (which is what GUBM wants because, as far as she's concerned, he should have a relationship with her in order to have one with SD, meaning beyond a parent-to-parent relationship). This happened in August, after we saw her on a family vacation - she said she wanted to visit, FDH said he wanted it to be within the next couple of months, and then for weeks he would text and call her almost daily and hear nothing back from her. And it's happening again.

He talked to her not that long ago - a week or so now? - and invited her to come visit the end of October. She said no to October because she wants to do her last year of trick or treating with her cousin in NJ, but, said she still wanted to visit. And he's been texting and calling her almost daily to no avail to check in on her, see if she's enrolled in online school, and to see if she wants to visit next month after we take a trip to NJ. The endless attempts is all that I think he can do at this point besides get on GUBM's case about her lack of ensuring that SD and FDH have a relationship, even if it's just through phone calls and text messages (there's no court ordered anything, so, he's got no real way to keep GUBM accountable).

And, while I care that FDH is hurting every day that he texts or calls SD and does not get in touch with her, I just don't really care all that much otherwise. It kind of keeps the drama in our house to an extreme minimum. Yes, there is drama that comes along with the territory of being with FDH thanks to SD and GUBM, but, at times like this, it's blissful. Every so often I'll ask FDH if he's heard from her, he'll say no, and I'll say "Oh, well that sucks. Just keep trying like I know you will" and our day goes along as normal. Which is definitely needed right now since I'm having some weird medical issues that we can't seem to figure out, no matter how many tests I get done. And all I can do at this point is just be supportive and encouraging for FDH and not get myself sucked into the nonsense.