So, I thought I'd pop on here and share some quick updates about SD.

SD is falling behind in school. Well, technically, she already was behind when she started since she didn't start until November - she wouldn't have been behind had FDH just gotten off of his ass and done SOMETHING back in August when SD said she was open to online schooling. But, nope, he just let GUBM flounder some more. Anyway, SD started while she was here for November, and, she was catching up pretty quickly. Unfortunately, she fell behind again after she went back to GUBM's. She's been doing the bare minimum and won't be done with 8th grade work on a normal school schedule and will likely be doing school work well into summer if she doesn't catch up again. SD knows that this, unfortunately, falls on her. She's well aware that GUBM has zero interest in her education and that she's got to keep herself on track. GUBM doesn't ask her about school, she doesn't ask her what she did that day in school, only asks "Did you do ANYTHING today??" in an accusatory way. And that's what GUBM asks every day that she leaves SD home alone while she's off running around. But, lately, GUBM has also been pulling SD away for day trips to who knows where with her, so, she has even fewer days during the week to work on school.

Anyone surprised that SD's school is suffering now that she's at GUBM's? I'm not surprised, not one bit. Everyone knew this would happen. But, that just means that when SD is here, she's going to have to work extra hard on her school work to get ahead of the game to make up for the fact that she falls behind when she's at home. Of course, the next time she's here it will be extra rigorous as she will have to catch up, again, and then get herself ahead before she leaves, but, oh well. She's gotta learn to keep herself on track because GUBM will only stand in her way, especially since FDH is the one who set this schooling up. And as we all know with NPD people, what matters the most is how THEY look to the world, not how they actually behave, so if something makes them look bad, it's bad.

Anyway, FDH and SD were texting yesterday, just catching up. He wanted to talk to her about school and about whether she talked to GUBM yet about her desire to spend every other month here. SD said that GUBM keeps shooting her down whenever she tries to talk about it and that GUBM has gotten pretty mean over the last couple of weeks as a result. How is she mean? Not sure. FDH didn't ask her to elaborate and I didn't want to hear details because it's bad enough knowing how GUBM treats SD in general, I don't need specifics. FDH told SD that he would talk to GUBM since she was being so abrasive and resistant with SD. He doesn't want SD to make her time at GUBM's any harder than it needs to be. And then, SD said something that I thought she would never say because, honestly, when GUBM started the alienation campaign and SD was demonstrating signs that it was working, I just braced myself for the fact that SD was never going to want to set foot in our house again.

SD said "Well, it needs to be done. She needs to know and accept that I'm not going to be spending as much time with her anymore, because I'll be spending time with you." :jawdrop:

So now FDH is planning on talking to GUBM. When? Not sure. He just knows he's going to do it soon. He didn't want to do it this past weekend because it was both SD's and GUBM's birthdays, and he didn't want to cause turmoil for SD on what should be a good weekend for her. But, he needs to get on this. December is rapidly coming to a close, 2014 is approaching, and so is January, when SD wanted to visit again. And FDH has big plans for after Xmas. A friend of ours wants to visit for a bit after the holiday, especially since we'll be in NJ, where she lives, for Xmas. So, FDH wants to bring her back with us and then bring her back to NJ when he goes to get SD a couple weeks later. No big deal, but, he has to nail down SD's next visit. And, I mentioned to him that we need to figure out a schedule for when we want SD here. It's ok for now knowing she'll be here every other month, but, we have to figure out dates for ourselves, especially since this coming year is going to be a little ridiculous with the upcoming wedding and because there are times when we both want SD here (FDH's birthday and Father's day) and times when we want to have the house to ourselves (the week after the wedding, Valentine's day, our anniversary in May).

We both agreed to look at a calendar this week to pencil in the six months that she should be here this next coming year. He said that SD isn't really set on any specific dates for visiting, but, that she doesn't want to spend too much time away from either house, and that she wants to feel like she belongs in both places. Yea, I know the feeling, SD. I know it all too well.