I asked this in the general discussion area but thought I would here too.

A question for all of those who have kids who don't have to deal with exes and SMs.

What would your boundaries be regarding ex and sm?

What lines, if any, would you not want your kids sm to cross?

If your ex was a pos to you and is a king to sm, how would you deal with resentment, if you felt that?

If your kids knew your ex made poor lifestyle choices but now was getting it together, and they felt like he was doing that for sm and not for them, how would you help them work through those feelings?

If your ex cheated on you and wound up with his mistress, how would you work through that, especially if you loath them?

If your kids knew about this, how would you help them through it? What behavior would you expect from them to the new stepparent?

Say some Tom Brady/Gisele/Bridget Moynahan situation happened. Yes, this happened a long time ago, but these situations seem to occur in real life, too. If you were the bio mom in that situation or one like it, how would you handle yourself? How would you handle any bitterness you feel? And would it still be a problem years later? There seem to be situations on this site where posters met their DHs when the bm was pregnant by dh. Many of these people met when their DHs were done with the bm, but I've heard of some instances where bm & dh were in on/off relationships or still in one when the dh met his now wife.

How would you handle it if your kids came to you saying they dislike sm and her bios?

These are issues that our sks BMs seem to not handle in a way that's good for everyone, so how would you, as a bm, handle them differently?