Sheesh! Can anything in my life NOT be about SS13?

My exH and I went to a parent orientation today for her to get some counselling and be evaluated for her ADD. After the initial parent meeting, we went off to meet their counselors.

During the discussion with the counselor, my ex and I discussed our concerns with DD12 regarding her mourning the loss of her grandfather, some struggles she's had in school and what our homes are like. The counselor praised us on having such a great relationship and joked that we should come in to model proper parental behavior for her families.

Anyway, we were each discussing the dynamics in the different homes, that DD12 got along well with her step parents and then exH brought up the fact that DD12 doesn't like the way that the dynamics have changed in my home since SS13's arrival. He ignores her, is rude, is annoying, etc - basically exactly how he treats me and what I see! I explain that dynamics have definitely changed at my house now that SS13 is part of our picture - the boys, especially DS9, look up to him and they all tend to play together. DD12 isn't interested in most of the boy stuff, so she keeps to herself mostly. She has also lost her top dog spot in the house with her brothers because SS13 is now the oldest.

So the counselor brings up SS and I just say that there are seperate issues with him. She is concerned and asks a bit more. I just say, "well, for starters, his mom has been absent from his life for a bout 7 years and has recently just come back." The counselor says very sympathetically, "oh, that must be really painful for him".

I just wanted to roll my eyes. I am so tired of EVERYTHING being about this kid and how painful his poor little life is.

I had considered taking him to counseling this summer, but I've already decided that I do too much for this kid already and am unappreciated for what I do, so why take on more. And it's clear that I have a piss-poor attitude about the kid right now, but still - I'm clearly the only rational one that understands he needs some help.

And now, as usual, instead of taking care of MY children, I'm back focused on SS - because his issues overshadow everyone else's in the family.

I did let DH know that we needed to talk about SS's impact on DD.