why do i feel so numb?
Hello again fellow step parents ..
I have been writing quite a few posts here lately.. and I wanted to say a big thank you for all the amazing responses I've been getting. I have been feeling so alone and confused lately, and reading all the replies bring me a sense of temporary sanity..
Today I feel like a zombie. I literally feel numb.
Like I've lost all my sense of self and right judgement..
I feel like there must be something wrong with me for DH to be acting this way.
Am I really abandoning the relationship by going away for a year to get a degree? Is 40 miles away really that inconvinient for him to go see me? Am I really the bad guy in all of this for not wanting DH to go into a big financial hole?
Why does he make me into this evil, selfish person?
I feel like I've lost myself somewhere along the road of this relationship. I don't know how to tell right from wrong anymore.
Everytime I think I'm doing something right.. he goes and spends hours and hours lecturing me until he's convinced me I was wrong.
Now.. I feel like I can't rely on my own judgement anymore.
How insane does this sound?
I agree with ditzy and would
I agree with ditzy and would add he is holding you back because of his fear. He s afraid of losing you, of you seeing him as beneath you. He is levelling you. Keeping you at a level where he feels in control. A husband and wife are supposed to want the best for each other. Be the wings that each help the other fly, to bring out the best in each other. He is being selfish, he is doing his best to prevent you from being the very best you can be. He is insecure. If you want to do this, do it. Be the best person you can be, If you don't you will only come to resent him and tge marriage really will be in trouble then. 40 miles you can overcome, resentment, well that never ever completely goes. That will always nag at you.