So I had an awkwardly pleasant day yesterday. I knew I’d get to spend the day with sd since her mom can’t get her for over nights right now, has seen her once in the last year. Dh and I both texted her asking if she was going to get to see sd (has to be supervised) she opted out (we expected). But what we DIDN’T expect was for ss’s mom to opt out (yes 2 bms). Well, dh and ss’s aunt have been talking. Bm and her sister are not talking, sister, had “disowned her” according to her words (whole other blog). Well, I and she have been talking as well. Dh and I took the kids to the zoo for mother’s day weekend. Bm’s sister decided to take hers too, we ran into each other, she asked for ss to stay the night (ok cool). So he does, and we are invited to stay for lunch/dinner with that side of the family (excluding bm) when we went to pick up ss. Ok, cool, we do, we have no vibes against her. and in all honesty, I’m impressed, doesn’t even act like the same kind of people. So we do spend the day over there. I met bm’s aunt and cousins, etc, all of which pretty much said “we don’t claim her”. Now this isn’t supposed to be a bash bm post but merely a “ok, outside looking in, this is odd” kind of post. So let me back track. The ONLY time I felt “weird” was when they decided to take a group picture. Now *I* didn’t want to be in that picture, so I offered to take the picture (ok cool). Until……….they asked dh to get in the picture, along with my dd. I told dh, I honestly felt weird then, only cause I was not in the picture which he agreed. But overall, my mother’s day was fun. 

I’ve HEARD of other step parents getting acquainted with “previous” family like this but it’s rare. Of course there is NO WAY I’ll get “this acquainted” with bm or her mom………..ta hell no! But the people I met yesterday know this and know I keep my distance from her BY FAR. And a few told me “I don’t blame you” and they did their own bm bashing while we were there, all dh and I contributed to that conversation was “well, we love ss, and will do what is best for HIM.”

Of course, aunt thanked and thanked us for letting her spend time with ss, and I told her “as far as I’m concerned, as long as anyone doesn’t give a REAL reason to NOT foster the relationship, the kid shouldn’t have to miss out cause adults can’t grow up. Although my mom has divorced my step dad, as long as my dd is interested, I let her see him………….because SHE wants it.” which is a similar circumstance.