Trouble accepting SD as full-time responsibility
:? I am married and am a first time mom of a 2 yr old. I married a man with a daughter. She is almost 8. The bio mom was not involved at all when we got married. I knew eventually she'd come back at some point, and it's now. This story is so all over the place, but I guess, in a nut-shell, I'm having a hard time accepting this girl as my full-time step daughter. It makes everything more difficult for me, I don't get as much quality time w/my son, and I get followed all over the place. I do love this girl, and I want to be fair to her and work through my feelings of frustration I'm having now. HELP! Anyone experienced the same situation?
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Why isn't her FATHER stepping
Why isn't her FATHER stepping up to the plate to parent her when he is at home?
I don't think It has anything
I don't think It has anything to do with whether SD's father steps in or not. If the child is interested in what you are doing and following you around, it isolates the child even more if you tell them that they can not hang out with SM. It creates animosity and resentment.
I agree. And that's what I'm
I agree. And that's what I'm trying to avoid. This child, who I do love, does not deserve this treatment. I'm nice about it, but it annoys the heck out of me having a freaking shadow all the time. Annoys my Husband too. I am the adult though and it's a selfish complaint, that's why I'm looking for advice. The 2 year old still requires more attention and supervision (sort of...he plays a lot on his own) my SD just has to be around SOMEBODY ALLLLL THE TIME. She doesn't know how to entertain herself. I don't want to make her feel bad for wanting to be involved or feel like she's being pushed away, but I also want her to learn how to be self-sufficient and find happiness with herself, not relying on other people to make her happy, you know?
I am going through the exact
I am going through the exact same thing with the 5 year old. He cant play without someone watching him, bathe without someone watching him. He always has to have the attention. I want him to be able to do things without the constant approval of us. I don't want him to feel like he can't be involved or that I don't want to share this with him, I just want to know he will be ok without it too!
EXACTLY! When I was a child I
EXACTLY! When I was a child I did the same thing. Only wanting to do what other people did and having to have them entertain me. I continued to do it through adult-hood (past it now) but it impacted my self esteem because I thought what I wanted to do wasn't as good as what everyone else wanted to do. I want to try to teach her to be herself, you don't HAVE to follow...I want her to practice loving what SHE wants to do and who she is EARLY so she can be happier through life w/out having self-esteem issues.
He is stepping up. He's doing
He is stepping up. He's doing a FINE job, really. Just unfortunately I work part-time and have to pick up my son, then her in the late afternoon, then I've got sometimes over 2 hours w/both of them until my husband(DH) is off work. He and I are together on disciplining her. As bad as it sounds I'm a lot of times just annoyed by her presence....I feel AWFUL about it. She's really a sweet, mostly well-behaved girl. There are several factors that play in to my somewhat resentment towards her. I'm trying really hard to work past it.
I am a first time mom of a 4
I am a first time mom of a 4 month old an I have a 5 year old ss. I have been in his life since he was born and I am having a really hard time balancing the two now that I have a BD. I love him to death and want to be as fair to him as possible but I also do not want my BD to get put on the back burner. He naturally demands the attention that he had when he was an only child and I don't want him to think that I can't give that to him only because he is not my child. It is because there are now two living beings demanding attention. We also have him 6 out of the 7 days of the week. I try to make sure that he doesn't feel left out or feel like he can't do something becuase of his sister, but I find myself saying "SS, not now, BD is sleeping" ect, a lot. I also find myself wishing he wasn't around as often so that SO, BD and I could do our thing and because I am already tired and worn out and with him around it never ends... even when BD is napping.
Your situation sounds a lot
Your situation sounds a lot like mine. I had my BS when my SD was 5. I had PP Depression and it was SO hard. Luckily at that point, for a while we had help w/other family members looking out for her. Now it's all of us, fulltime. I just feel overwhelmed. I don't want to put my BS on the back burner either and sometimes I won't talk much or go around my BS because my SD is around and that makes me MAD because I think "if she wasn't here, this wouldn't be an issue!!!" trying so hard to get past this so we can be happy and balanced.
You're right about the fairy
You're right about the fairy farts LOL!! Good questions! I am not a SAHM, I work part time and my son is now in an in-home daycare. My son is also my husband's son, so SD and he are half bro/sis. We do actually have her in an after school program which is free (thankfully) which makes it much easier on me! Unfortunately my husband's line of work doesn't allow for him a set time off.
The BM is KIND OF back in picture. Not by her own desire but basically because of her parents and my husband's parents who turned on him and moved her here to try to manipulate BM to get custody so they could have "control" over SD...let me know if you want to know more. This story is so screwed up.