I couldn't handle this. IMO- after dh told him to quit touching him and he did anyway he should've got up and escorted him to his room for not listening. IMO, this is a real boundary violation and at 11 he is way too old to be violating anyone's boundaries and get away with it. Will he do this with the girl he likes in a couple of years? If she tells him no will he think it is a fun game to continue to harass her.

Frankly I'd also forbid the kid to come anywhere near the loveseat. Just make Iftar off limits. I think it is great that your dh is trying, but also look at how much attention you all gave this kid-it was a reward for him. If your dh escorts him out of the room as soon as he starts up he will not get the attention he wants and he may rethink his plan

There is some serious boundary and discipline issues going on. Your DH clearly has no control of his son. These expressions of emotions are inappropriate....really. Hopefully this gets handled or who knows what may be next with this boy. I would be concerned for my safety if I were you.

I am in a similar situation. My SO has been a terrible parent for years. His kids can do no wrong. literally. He will ALWAYS make excuses for them. He is in denial about so many things. I won't bore you with the details but the oldest daughter is banned from the house, the youngest is being tested for having serious learning disabilities and the middle child was held back a year and still barely functions, just plays video games all day, won't do chores, whines constantly, and he's the supposedy normal one. But it all stems from THE PARENTING. The kids have no boundaries and no discipline. The are therefore rotten and maladjusted and incapable of doing anything for them selves. They will not listen and follow any directions....you have to tell them five times to take a shower. And they only bathe when they come to our house. You have to beg them to put a dish in the dish washer and even then they will complain for 10 minutes about putting a plate and two pieces of silverware away and ASK TO BE PAID after it only took 45 seconds.

I cannot imagine your frustration level. If he does not come through some day soon divorce may be the only option. I am engaged.....and I intend on staying engaged. I won't marry into the insanity.

It's almost like I could have written your post. The only differences are SS is 8, and he acts this way with everyone who gets around his dad.

It's maddening. And it causes drama wherever we go. I have actually started to not participate in outside activities because there is always some drama. There are times when I have no option. For example, at the pool in my complex, if we are there, its ALWAYS an issue. SS and BS can be playing in the water, I'm laying beside the pool, generally. As long as SO is playing it engaging SS THE ENTIRE TIME, everything is fine. As soon as SO comes to lay with me, SS will come over and hang all over SO begging him to get back in the water. (it did begin to improve after several issues, SO just flat told him he was not here to entertain him, and wanted to relax for a min).
If SO attempts to socialize with some guys at the pool, if he talks to the the group too long, SS will literally get out of the pool, and go all the way to the other side of the complex, and sulk. He will sit there, alone, and crying until SO notices and comes over to him. this happened several times. I was shocked. It's always drama.

After it played out, I did have a chat with SO , and even pointed out other kids, around SS age and asked if SO noticed a difference in his behavior. Of course he did.

He pulls the same couch crap. Sitting on the back of the couch, just to be right on top of dad.

I do feel like its a behavior issue. SS seems very needy, amd clinging. SO tried reassurance, and that really didn't help much. I try to be sympathic, and see that they only get every other weekend to see each other, and how I would feel. But its disruptive, and SS wants EVERYTHING to be about him on "his" weekend. SO often makes it about SS on his weekend. That has been improving over the last 6mths, when SO started really seeing the behavior.

I feel for you, but I am glad DH is able to see it. Depending on if he acts this way around everyone or just with you....DH is going to have to set boundaries, and it sounds like he has started to do that. Some people are just touchy and needy and clinging. Our challenge now i think is not giving into the sulking, when he relaizes dad has others in his life.

I wish you the best!

I know how you feel. My husband oldest is weird she hangs all over him. Jumps on him. Always tried to wiggle between us on the couch. Tries to alienate everyone. Especially our 18 month old son we have. I can't stand her. She asked over thanksgiving weekend if I was his ex wife in front of family and laughed pissed me off he didn't say a word and then got upset when I told him she says stupid things. Grrr