Does anyones male stepkids 'cuddle' together?
Just intetested to know if anyone has male skids that cuddle with each other? Mine are 9,11 & 14. The last 3 visits Ive noticed that SS14 & SS9 cuddle with each other...alot & DH thinks its 'cute'.
Anyways...just wondered if anyone else has make skids that do this. SS14 also kisses his brothers on the forehead. Im wondering if BM leaves SS14 home alone in charge of the younger ones alot.
- stepmomto3bioto1's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I have boys who are younger
I have boys who are younger and they never cuddle with each other. Mostly they wrestle, chase each other, and play fight. SS doesn't cuddle them or play with them, but always wanted to share the bed with DH.
I have no idea if its normal
I have no idea if its normal for stepfamilies or in tact families. I had no siblings growing up & only have DD8. So thats why Im asking. Thanks!
My skids have pretty bad issues with physical boundaries. Im annoyed with both BM & DH for not teaching these boys appropriate & healthy boundaries. I just dont understand how either parent thinks it 'normal' for these kids to constantly encroach on everyones personal space. The boys have the same exact problems at BMs house. Except, rather then put boundaries in place & stop the weird overly clingy behaviours-- BM put them into counseling. Shaking my head-- why oh why is it sooo hard for DH & BM to teach these kids simple things like "this is my space & that is yours". This is NOT about the boys cuddling. This is a much bigger issue--but Im beyond realizing today that neither bio parent wants to 'Parent'!! Augh!!!
All kids need someone to
All kids need someone to inform them what physical boundaries are or else they don't learn them. BS is learning this now. I told DH a few years ago that Bs was getting too old for tickle fights. When BS started playing sports he tried to tickle the other boys and got his ass beat. Now he just tries to play fight during sports but when We see it all us parents and coaches tell the boys to stop
Thank you checked out-- your
Thank you checked out-- your totally getting what Im saying!!! BM has also made references about how this ultra clingy behaviour is also affecting her marriage!!! So its not just me who sees it & deals with it. I wish that we were in a better situation with BM & SDad. I wish it was easier to convey to everyone what is going on!!
Its really really irritating that both of the boys bio-parents are being rediculous & not teaching these kids what healthy & appropriate boundaries are. DH gets overly sensitive if I even bring it up. Theres a ton of examples I can give, sadly. Like Ive had to quit giving SS11 hugs as he doesnt seem to understand appropriateness & when he hugs me, he tries to intentionally put his head on my boobs instead !!! I have beyond pointed this out to my DH & I made damn sure DH was right beside me when SS tried to hug me inappropriately. SS is as tall as me & he literally crouches down to put his head directly on my boob !!!! I stopped him of course & DH definitely saw it. I told SS it was very innapropriate & that it has to stop!!! Dh? He just nodded & agreed with me but of course had no real talk with SS about it. Its soooo frustrating!!! DH & I cant even get near ea other when SS11 is here. If DH sits near me- SS will have to be able to touch his dad or else he stomps away out of jealousy. Its irritating!! Ugh!!
Personally that seems really
Personally that seems really weird to me. Define "cuddle." Spooning? Bc that would be super weird.
Yep!! We were all watching a
Yep!! We were all watching a TV show. SS14 was laying on his side on the couch with SS9 directly infront of him laying the same way!! SS14 had his arm around SS9. It was sooooo awkward & weird looking!!! Yuck!!! DH pointed it out to me with a 'how cute' remark- I wanted to vomit!!!
Then later on they were laying in the floor, sharing a blanket and laying together. Kinda grosses me out!!!! Ive just Never Ever seen boys act like this!!! Ive been quietly watching their behaviours. Trying to take a step back (mosfly disengaged now) & watch & observe the things going on & trying to understand how their bizzare behaviours have been negatively affecting me.
Now its clear--- the kids do NOT understand boundaries!!! At all!!! & damn DH needs to get his head outta his ass!! Augh!!!
It sounds like DH babies them
It sounds like DH babies them quite a bit. You could always say "aw, they look just like a married couple." I think it would be different if one of them was a baby or toddler, but that sounds strange.
My SS11 and BS 3 ( they are
My SS11 and BS 3 ( they are half brothers) snuggle on the couch all the time. SS11 really wanted a sibling and enjoys and loves on him every day and has since he was born.
I think this is poor
I think this is poor boundaries. Most 14 year old boys aren't interested in spooning anyone except perhaps their gf. 14 year old oys get erections fairly easily at this age, correct? My kiddos- dd15, dd11, and ds13 all get along fairly well- but would never ever dream of spooning one another. An occasional hug they will give, but no spooning or kissing one another. It creeps me out a little- the 14 year old could quite easily be mistaken for a predator, IMO. If the wrong, or perhaps, right person saw this behavior I could see someone making a report to dcs
I dunno, mine are a little
I dunno, mine are a little younger but, my BS'S 4 & 8 cuddle at times, share a blanket etc watching tv, but at the same time they also do a lot of wrestling and such. I have to wonder if maybe SS9 isn't getting enough affection from BM maybe and SS14 has stepped in to show his little brother the affection he isn't getting? I spose it all depends on how often it's happening.
Ok. Let me add this::: BMs
Ok. Let me add this::: BMs Husband is beyond fed up with all of it too!!!!! BM is "sick to death" of SS11s odd behaviours & has put 2 of the 3 boys in Counseling for it!!!!
I Never said everyone was 'ok' with it or even is happy with it!!!! BMs marriage is about in the crapper because of it! What Im irked about is why tge heck doesnt she & DH try to 'teach' these kids manners & appropriate boundaries? Rather then just ship em off to a counselor to do their dirty work FOR them?
Ya know? Trust me--- Nobody thinks this is 'acceptable' yet BM & DH arent doing the real 'parenting' to change these behaviours. Its huge Boundary issues all over the place!!
I dunno. Its all so frustrating.