Have I mentioned lately how much I hate my mil?
Sorry, I know it's a skid venting site- but all these crazy people are connected.
My dd15 got hurt at cheer practice last night- which is 30 min away from our home. Her coach takes her into Er and we drive to meet them. The same Er my mil works at. We see her car as soon as we pull in. Yep, she's working. This is a very small Er. Dd15 dislocated her shoulder. Feeling pretty bad. We ended up being there for almost 4 hours. Mil never spoke to dd or dh at all. My dd noted to me within 15 minutes of me being there that mil didn't speak to her, but just looked at her when she came in. She even asked, "what, she's not even going to check on me?"
Ugh. No, obviously not. This woman who acted as your mamaw for 13,years of your life is not even going to speak to you when you are hurt and in front of her face at her place of work. It's not even that she wanted to avoid dh and I as dd was there for 30 minutes before us. The nurse that did take care of her even commented that they had someone of the same last name working there. Really? So mil didn't even tell the rest of the staff, hey that's my granddaughter. Although I'm sure the nurse went back and asked about the relation.
On another note, after many pain meds dd announced that ss14 hadn't been back to school since last Thursday am when he was sent home after the locker search. So I am guessing that he did get in some big trouble- perhaps even expelled? And THAT pisses me off as well. To think the kid got expelled and nobody even bothered to tell dh. If he is expelled I think some decisions need to be made and frankly dh is the only one with the legal right to do so. And it pisses me off that ss can jack around sending hateful texts to dh- instead of saying- hey, dad I messed up- I need some help
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Did totally should have
Did totally should have called Grammy dearest out. Oh we have a nurse with that same last name....yeah that's my grandmother, but she doesn't acknowledge me as family anymore since she's mad at my mom.
I agree with the above. How
I agree with the above. How childish of the grandmother though, to not even acknowledge dd. That's a shame. I would have totally called her out right in front of her co workers, waving and saying "hey Grammy"....
I could never imagine my mom doing that to my family, steps or otherwise even if she was pissed at me.
Sometimes people are so
Sometimes people are so petty, I say, good riddance for your daughter and your husband. Toxic people should just go away...
That is terrible! I hate my
That is terrible! I hate my MIL too! Our BD was born a month after DH caught MIL and FIL stealing from our company (which left us broke) and they tried to turn it around and be angry at him. I was out with BD at Target when she was about a month old and they wouldn't even look my way!! They didn't want to see their grandchild. It was disgusting. Now they are nice to us again because they constantly beg for money from us!! All of a sudden BD is 4 and they want to see her now. Give me a break!
I agree with SA. Things
I agree with SA. Things probably aren't so well between ss and mil. She probably feels like she has to fix DHs and BMs mistakes. And I add dh in there because you recently said he didn't believe a lot of what you had to say about ss until recently. Bm (and dh, when he was home) should have got this kid intense help years ago.
If dh still has legal custody of this child, he should look into getting him into some program for very troubled kids. I know it may be expensive but it may save SSs life (and the lives of others). This kid needs help. Most teens can't straighten themselves out all on their own. Especially if they live in crappy environments like ss does, and especially if they've had their own bio parents (bm and to a lesser extent, dh) give up on them and not parent them properly. And I hate to say this but I think ss may have been abused sexually by someone. That could be a large part of why he acts the way he does and is so angry.
How rude and immature! She's
How rude and immature! She's probably just jealous that she is stuck with miscreant SS and you and DH get your DD who is a good kid.
Unless your SS goes to a private school, he can't be expelled at his age. No child left behind... public schools can't expell any student who is under compulsory age, which in most states is 16. They can hand down a long term suspension, but they can't expell.
Dear old grandma just showed
Dear old grandma just showed her grandchild how she wants to be treated in the future. When you show favoritism and play these games with kids, they remember and when they grow up, they usually lose interest in being around the toxic people.
Enter Karma. Someday, dear old grandma will be sitting home all alone, wishing a grandkid (or anybody) will visit. And no one will, because after all who would want to visit a petty, mean-spirited old biotch? Nobody.
This was probably hurtful for DD. You could explain to DD if she mentions it that grandma isn't herself and if DD feels like she needs to, then it would be okay to detach from grandma and any other people who treat her badly.
My MIL was an old biotch. She hasn't aged well in any way and now is a whining, griping, miserable, senile, pants-pooping old fool. I used to feel anger towards MIL, now it's just disgust and a little pity.
It may have a bit to do with
It may have a bit to do with ss, but I feel it has far more to do with me. She thinks I am the root of all evil, therefore my spawn must also be evil. And secondarily, it likely has to do with dh- because he reported his sisters crime, because he didn't give his brother money on NYE, because he loves me. Ad because of whatever mistreatments ss has claimed.
See mil thinks ss is an innocent victim. Us normal folks would be having a heck of a time raising ss, but this is all par for course for mil- really what she thrives on because she can look like a hero who is rescuing this boy. What he does at school is of no consequence to her- hence the failing grades and constant behavioral problems. The two stints he's had with mil are the some of the worst grades and problems he's ever had in school- because they simply don't care. There are no consequences at home for bad behaviors and failures at school- just not a priority in anyway.
As far as jealousy- I am sure this is a big part of it. All my kids are achievers. My dd is not just good at cheer- she is great. She does both competitive and high school cheer. She is only a freshman but is on the varsity squad. Tumbles at a high level. She cheers in practices, games, and competitions 4-6 times a week for hours at a time, (sorry I know I'm bragging but she has worked hard at this for a lot of years). My ds13 is a 4.0 student. My youngest is still developing all this, but is also a good student, and is active in cheer and dance. This is sooooo different than ss and all of her other grand kids for that matter. The irony is that ss lived here full time until he was 10. He had all the same opportunities, assistance, support as my other kids. He was big into soccer and we paid for and participated in an all star soccer team for him.
strangely my mil never thought ss was spoiled for receiving these opportunities. Circumstances and his own desires took him to his bm's. while there she put him in band and baseball. Two of his other expressed interests. He managed these for almost 4 years. I know ss's history sounds bad- and for sure dh and bm have made mistakes with him but its not really been that traumatic. Everyone loved him, he had extended family, a nice home, opportunities, assistance with schoolwork.
My dd15 would never have called mil out as she simply doesn't roll that way. She is not disrespectful. If my mil would have spoke to her she would have been polite. Automatically. Later she might have said "oh I wish I'd said..." But we would all know she never would. My mil has been treating my dd this way for the at least the last 18 months or so. Even before ss moved in with her the first time. Before my dh turned in sil. Would see her out in public and just not even acknowledge her even when my dd was 10 feet away waving at her and saying hi. I just thought last night was a new low.