Just a vent, I know I shouldnt care...
but my inlaws/ss just make me ill. So I blogged the other day about a parent and kids coming to my house the other night thinking i was ss's mom and that she had a problem with ss bullying her kid. I really hoped that he would get some consequences for this.
I am not sure what all went down at school yesterday. I do know that ss's locker was searched (my dd15 saw this as hers is right next to his)-and he was not in their mutual class that afternoon. She asked the sister of the boy he was bullying what happened. She told dd15 that ss threatened to choke him (again this child is autistic and the size of a 3rd grader), but that she heard he didnt get in any trouble for that, but that her brother was told that he was sent home anyway for having drugs in his locker!
So I thought FINALLY! someone will have to do something about this kid. Help him, fix him, protect others from him, put a foot up his ass, whatever. Something!
However, on my way to work this morning I pass mil taking ss to school-at least I am assuming as there's not much else in that direction.
I just dont understand. How many chances do kids get nowadays in the school system? You'd think 20 detentions, 3 or 4 ISS and one OSS plus whatever he did yesterday might qualify for some serious consequences other than just sending him home for 1/2 a day? Hell, that is a reward for him I'm sure.
Im not gonna lie I was hoping he'd be expelled thus forcing the issue that he go back to bm's. And be out of the school that my children attend.
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Oh friend... I work in a
Oh friend... I work in a fairly large school district and have for the past 13 years. I have seen the decline first hand. It is so frustrating as it seems that these kids just do what they want with no consequences, but what is the school supposed to do?
In my district:
We beg and plead with parents and make referrals to to other agencies to try and get the kids on the right path, however the majority of parents with troubled kids either a. don't care b. can't be bothered or c. are so troubled themselves that they see their kids as perfect angels.
We make hotlines for ed. neglect for the kids who don't/wont come to school. RARELY does anything ever happen. The wheels on the bus, just spin and spin and spin until the kid is compulsory age and it doesn't matter anymore or the parents pick up and move somewhere else, where the whole process starts all over again.
We suspend for violations of what we call the Code of Conduct (basically anything that is deemed disruptive, violent, dangerous, insubordinate etc.) but the kids don't care, they DON'T want to be in school to begin with.
If and when some of them actually make it to court or probation for the crap they do, they most generally get a slap on the wrist, because God forbid, it costs the County big bucks to ship these kids off to a detention center, RTF, CR, or what have you.
Bottom line is that the schools only have these kids 184 days a year and 6 hours a day. PARENTS have them 181 days per year and 18 hours per day. Enough said. The problem is with losers like your IL's who just keep on keeping on and doing nothing, they bury their heads in the sand, they deny, they make excuses and claim it's because they lurvvvv the kid, or they are just too darn lazy to be bothered. Just let someone else deal with it.
Sorry to blat on and on, and I'm not trying to be preachy, it's just so damn frustrating
Im not even sure it was
Im not even sure it was drugs. I find it hard to believe he'd be back to school within 24 hours if it WAS drugs. Maybe it was chewing tobacco or cigs. Who knows? I will say that our county does a fair job with the probation kids. They will indeed send them off if necessary so I was hopeful if he got into the system that something could be done.
But who am I kidding? He was growing marijuana in his bm's front yard at 13 and received absolutely zero legal consequences. I was proud of bm for calling the police too-they just didnt do anything. When he was distributing his adhd meds to his 11 year old cousin last spring, dh called the police on him. Again, they did nothing. Dont they understand that this is what contributes to the parents feeling as if there is nothing they can do? When they chose to ignore actual crimes?
It saddens me as ss attends the high school that both dh and I attended. This is where we grew up. It's a small school. You would think that they would have time and attention to devote to these problems. Last time he was supsended he was concerned that he would not be able to attend his after school program. The principal assured him that he could. Why? If he was aware that this was something ss liked, why not use it to motivate him to behave himself?
I guess it is easy to have the answers when you are not directly involved. I know that dh and I absolutely had no clue how to deal with the kid. He is not normal in any way shape or form-so I guess I shouldnt blame agencies, law enforcement for not knowing what to do with him either.
Yeah, that's my thought about
Yeah, that's my thought about the drugs. If it were I find it very hard to believe he'd be back the next day-BUT I could imagine he had some sort of contraband in there-Im not sure what the policy is on chew as far as suspension goes. I had thought maybe he had a knife or something but even that would surely carry more than a day's suspension. Ah, well, who knows? I am just frustrated that we have never been able to find anything to help this kid and that he never seems to have consequences to his actions.
Let's think positively -
Let's think positively - maybe he was expelled - and he was just going to pick up stuff from his locker?
Did you DD confirm he was definitely in school today?