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Is it tooo much

ferretmom's picture

When ever my H or my sons were or are sick I try to take care of them. Make sure there is whatever medicine needed in the house, plenty of tissues, juice and of course good old chicken soup. Throw in a little TLC and everything's better. Now I ask all of you is it too much to expect just a little of the same consideration in return. I've been so sick the last 2 days that even my hair hurts. H won't come near me and when we pass in the hall he holds his breath until I go by. I swear I'm about ready to go cough in his drink then act the same way to him when he gets sick. }:) Last night I've got my head in the toilet throwing up and he is stupid enough to ask if I'm throwing up. The neighbors could hear me so why would he ask something so idiotic?? The only thing I could come up with is that he's a monkey's butt. At least sd is avoiding me. Biggrin

Sasha's picture

I'm sorry you're sick and hope you'll be feeling better real soon!

I don't understand these guys at all. My ex rarely got sick, but when he did, even if it was just a cold, he would be in bed for days, acting like he was on his last breath. Once when I was sick with a stomach virus, his idea of taking care of me was to say: "Do you want me to get you a bucket?" :sick:

Of course I laugh about it now, but at the time I was not very amused.

now4teens's picture

But you and Sasha had me laughing out loud this morning with your little stories of your idiot DHs! I really don't know what it is with these men either.

Right now, my oldest son has pneumonia. It started out as strep throat and an ear infection last week and progressed (from weak antibiotics) into this. And while DH is concerned about him, he's making sure that everything is sprayed down with Lysol, wiped down with antibacterial wipes, and BS is isolated to his room (even though doctor confirmed he is no longer contagious since he has been on antibiotics for over 24 hours).

But DH is now CONVINCED he will get strep, especially since I have been the one who is taking care of him, so he is keeping me at arm's length as well! Forget about kissing me- I could be a CARRIER! GASP!!!!

For GOD'S sake- he doesn't have THE PLAGUE. And we DO live in the 21st Century, where there is medication. But me and my son are meant to feel like outcasts in our home.

Whatever.

And Sasha, your story reminded me of my ex. He was the biggest baby when he got sick, too. But the one time I was sick with a really high fever, and the doctor said I need to take a tub bath to bring down my temperature, my ex's idea of "helping" was to take out the cleaning supplies for me so I could clean the tub before I got in it! Wow, what a prince. Wink

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis

Sasha's picture

In my first marriage I was in the military and stationed in Maryland. I was able to drive home to PA most weekends. A couple of months before I was due to be discharged from the military, I got sick and ended up having surgery to remove one of my ovaries. After I was released from the hospital I was placed on medical leave for 6 weeks.

My ex-H didn't want to drive to Maryland to bring me home. Let me remind you that I drove from MD to PA and back almost every weekend. He didn't want to come and get me because he didn't want to have to drive me back. So I said fine, I will just stay here. I can't imagine anyone expecting their wife to drive 4.5 hours right after major surgery!

He ended up bringing his brother with him, who drove my car to PA. That way when my leave was over I could drive myself back to base.

My ex-H wasn't a very sympathetic kind of guy...

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

I'm sorry your husband is being such an a$$-but not surprised. He's never there for you when there's trouble, so this is just right down his normal road.

My H is home now-working nearby-and will be off Frid, Sat, Sun. And he's sick. So, last nite I fixed up a big pot roast, dosed him with Nyquil, ran him a hot bath--and had his favorite chocolates (its upper respiratory, not stomach flu). Don't know why I did all that. He's the same smart alec he is when he's well. And anytime I've ever been ill, he's been an a$$. Earlier this summer, I seperated my shoulder...funny story, actually, I'll tell it one day. BUT H bitched and complained because I wasn't out lifting heavy cement slabs w/him, and he had to mow the lawn for two weeks. I was in so much pain-couldnt even lift the coffee pot. Do you think for one minute I got any help, sympathy, NOPE. Just bitched at because I couldn't do any work.

So hope you feel better today. and hopefully your selfish H comes down with it, and you just go shopping or something & leave him to his misery!

northernsiren's picture

how awful to take care of others and get none of that same consideration yourself! I am so sorry Sad

I have to say, FH is very good about these things. He takes great care of me if I'm sick, and always offers to take time off if I have to go in for serious dental work or any out of the norm DR appts. I had surgery not that long ago, and he was wonderful through it all.

In stark contrast to my ex, who was fighting with me 3 days into my recovery from having a breast reduction, and fighting with me over my pain medication that he wanted to take for recreation! ASS!

There are men out there capable of being a true partner, sometimes it just takes a lifetime to find them....

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

Mystery23's picture

Hi

I think you H is being so bad he should at least try and look after you when your sick. Remember this when he is sick and he will know how you feel now.

Get well soon

ferretmom's picture

I realize that I can get whiny when I'm sick so I can understand how that can get on his nerves. It's the stupid stuff he does that makes me mad. When he asked me if I was sick when I had my head in the toilet I told him no I was having a conversation with the Tidy Bowl man. One time I fell and was laying on the ground stunned and he asks me "did you fall". I like NO I decided to take a nap in the yard. Are all men this dense???? :? Or is it just mine?

Sasha's picture

It's a good thing I already swallowed that mouth full of coffee before I read that or I would have been wiping it off my computer screen! That is just too funny!

Mystery23's picture

I know what you mean.

anita...sigh's picture

I had minor surgery and did not do well with the anesthetic afterwards. When I got home, I ran to the bathroom to throw up, I can hear him come down the hallway and he asks "are you all right" and I'm, of course, not able to answer. He gets almost to the door and I hear him mutter "f**k it". He wasn't being mean, he was scared he was going to start throwing up too! LOL. Not much of a stomach on that dude.

We all smile in the same language

groovetheory's picture

When he is sick, he wants me to just drop everything and hug and give him what he needs and he sucks the energy right out of me. Then, I get sick - with his bug and he just doesn't recipricate. I don't get it. I hope you feel better!

Tara12's picture

Girl I hope you feel better - I hate when I have my head stuck in the toilet. I just had my gallbladder out last thursday and was soooo sick to my stomach and I didn't even make it in the house when I started to projectile vomit linda blair style and my FH goes oh I should have got that bucket out of the car now I have to hose down the front walk. Not meanly but just like out loud. Then he goes do you feel sick? I'm like well not anymore cuz I just puked - hello???? Other than that he has been a wonderful caretaker this past week - at a distance. I still had to tell him what to do. Hope you feel better soon!