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Should EOWE skids have chores

notmycircus's picture

DH and I recently were in a discussion about how his 3 EOWE kids do not clean up anything after themselves. I told him that I would like to see them putting their things away when they are done, throwing out their used tissues, and recycling the 20 half empty water bottles that they always leave lying around. DH doesn't think that they should have to do any of that since he only gets them EOWE. He says chores are for full time kids. I am not talking about scrubbing down toilets and stuff, but just want them to tidy after themselves. With 3 of them it gets so messy so quickly, and then I am left to clean up all of it when they leave. He always says that he will clean up after them, but he never does. They are younger children, 12, 9 and 6, but I feel they are old enough to accept that you can't just leave all your mess lying around. Any opinions on this?

Comments

fakemommy's picture

I think if you contribute to the mess, you contribute to cleaning it up. Chores don't have to be a bad thing, they make you a contributing member of the household. Doesn't your DH want his kids to feel like a part of the household? Wink No, but really, cleaning up after themselves, wiping down their bathroom and helping clean up after dinner should be the minimum!

Glassslipper's picture

^^^ completely agree! ^^^

Chore make you a contributing member of the household!

fakemommy's picture

I think if you contribute to the mess, you contribute to cleaning it up. Chores don't have to be a bad thing, they make you a contributing member of the household. Doesn't your DH want his kids to feel like a part of the household? Wink No, but really, cleaning up after themselves, wiping down their bathroom and helping clean up after dinner should be the minimum!

mommy0104's picture

Yes they should have to tidy up after themselves EOWE or not! When my DH's kids were here every other weekend, their rooms had to be cleaned before they left on Sunday. Like you said, it's not like you're asking them to clean your whole house top to bottom. And regardless of EOWE or not, making them tidy up after themselves teaches responsibility. If your DH doesn't make them clean simply because they're not "full time" kids, they'll eventually learn to take advantage of that, if they don't already. And if your DH doesn't agree, tell him that he can start cleaning up their messes.

iwasindenial's picture

Cleaning up after themselves should not be considered a chore...but instead what is required of everyone in the family.

notmycircus's picture

Thanks for the comments. That is exactly how I feel. I don't even want to get into how absolutely disgusting their rooms are. I just close the door. I do feel that they should have some respect when they are here, such as cleaning up after themselves, and there are so many other issues I could get into, but for another time. I am so happy to have found this place where there are people who understand the struggle of step-parenting. This is a skid weekend, so in 15 minutes I will be bombarded with them. Sad

kathc's picture

Very minimum they should clean up after themselves-no leaving dirty plates/cups around, not leaving toothpaste etc all over sink in bathroom, room clean when they leave.

hereiam's picture

My SD did not have chores, per se, but she did have to clean up after herself and sometimes she and DH would clean the kitchen together or something like that.

Her room had to be cleaned and vacuumed before she left, to look like it did when she arrived.

No way was she allowed to just leave her messes all over the house, it was visitation, not vacation.

LuckyGirl's picture

Of course they should clean up after themselves. This is plain old-fashioned good manners and your DH is being a jerk about the issue.
If their rooms are tips, I would inform DH (only once, and nicely) that I expect either them or him to clean the rooms by X time. If this was not done to my satisfaction, I would clean them myself by the simple method of chucking absolutley everything into the bin. This tends to focus the mind something wonderful...

Teas83's picture

I completely agree that skids need to clean up after themselves and have chores around the house, just like everyone else who lives there.

I make my SD6 clean up after herself every weekend but it's like pulling teeth.

stepinhell617's picture

Guest don't have chores, family does. If he doesn't pick up, then chuck everything- if it was left out then it is clearly not important.

Flying.Purple.Step.Monster's picture

SD11 and SS12 are responsible for cleaning their rooms, their bathroom and their tv room.