I don't have those feelings but I know he didn't really want to marry her and was not in love with her. And they had a courthouse wedding, not very romantic.

Since he didn't have the Italy wedding, I probably wouldn't have thought anything about it. He might have been thinking he'd like to take you to Italy!

Someone just posted about asking a question she really didn't want the answer to... darn, wish I could remember which blog.

There was NO safe answer for your DH. And you probably wouldn't have liked any answer he gave.

I believe, and have found through the experience of life and 20+ years as wife #2, that the past should remain in the past. I don't ask questions about that kind of stuff, because it really has nothing to do with my life with him.

Less wine, next time

Yea I totally don't get why he was mad. That seems kind of silly. Lucky for me DH is pretty open about his past relationships, actually he'll tell me pretty much anything I ask except his military service and well some of the stuff his best friend told me...I probably don't want to know. I would listen if he wanted to talk to me about it though.

ANYWAYS!

He was in the military he was lonely so he married her after knowing her for 3 months. She didn't take care of SS, she ruined his credit, they were evicted and his truck was repossessed because she spent all his money on who knows what. Luckily, his Captain liked him a lot and helped him get all his finances straight so he wouldn't get in trouble with the military.

Definitely no jealousy here:

He told me that after they got divorced BM told him she was determined to make sure she got rid of everything about her that made her attractive to him. She succeeded. She cut all her hair off she has this weird angled bob that makes her look like she has cocker spaniel ears because her hair is kind of curly and she skunked it (Dark brown with fat blonde streaks)and she now weighs like 400lbs and the bigger she gets the more hairy moles pop up on her face (seriously) He is definitely NOT attracted to her.

I would probably have asked something similar too! Or at least thought it. And I have asked probably in some peoples opinion too many detailed questions about him and his ex and their relationship. He always gets really pissed at me about it. I feel like if it is his past and is part of him and hes over it then why shouldnt he want tell me about it? I have no problem talking about and telling details about my past relationships in fact I like to and feel like it makes us understand each other more. Like how long ago did they break up, why did he stop loving her, why did he start loving her(that one I still dont understand! lol)??
Anyways the fact that the stupid BM is always in the picture I think makes me obsess over it sometimes. And she is GROSS, like how the fuck could he have loved that thing???
Anyways I am pretty obsessive and I admit it which is exactly why I am considering leaving so I can go find a man with no ex calling every day...

I don't believe in asking questions that I don't want the answer too.

But I'm still trying to teach DH not to volunteer information that I do not have a need to know.

Dh never mentions BM. Other than what I learned of her during the divorce process - which wasn't pretty - I know nothing about her or their marriage. He sometimes mentions concerts he went to or things he did, but never mentions her. Somewhere the rational side of me knows he likely did many of these things with her since they were married for nearly 2 decades, but I don't ever consciously think about it. They don't "fit" together, so my brain doesn't try to imagine them together. It would never occur to me to ask him about their wedding.