Sd and her distorted perception of reality
Sd is obviously reality challenged. A comment I read made me remember another odd thing she won't accept. Her birthplace. When she was very small DH worked in Italy for a few years. She lived with him and COW there for one year when she was about one, and then DH sent her and COW back to the states because COW was cheating. So Sd tells everyone she was born in Italy. She even mentions it to Dh. He corrects her, "Sd, you weren't born in Italy. You were born in Arkansas." Sd doesn't say anything, and inevitably keeps telling people she was born in Italy, and continues to occasionally ask her dad about her birth in Italy. Lol. There are a lot of other little ways she ignores reality, like asking DH about getting back together with COW, but this one seems so pointless. Any others have funny ways their skids refuse to accept reality? Makes me wonder what is like in Sd's version of reality.
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I was born in Arkansas so was
I was born in Arkansas so was my kids. Lol hate it here but I'm stuck .
sd20 started in with false
sd20 started in with false memories of crap that never happened as soon as bs4 was born. like when i gave him a bath, that "reminded her of when she was little and fdh used to give her baths". when she was that little, his mom or sm had her more than him and he didn't give her baths at all. he has told me that his mom/sm had her a lot or helped him out a lot when he had her. he doesn't even bathe bs4, so i highly doubt he bathed a girl when he was 20. that's not the only thing, though. she likes to convince herself that they are and always have been SO close and she was and is such a daddy's girl. :sick: actually, no. fdh even told me once that he loves bs more than her. }:)
Sd thinks she is a daddy's
Sd thinks she is a daddy's girl too. He has shattered that a bit by not putting up with the daddybear crap and lies anymore but her long term plan for her life is to come live near Dh, rather than get married and have her own family.
I don't think her asking
I don't think her asking about her mom and dad getting back together necessarily means she cannot accept reality. I think we as humans aren't wired to want SPs and are wired to want intact families. After all, intact families were how we, as a species, were "keeping it real" (as kids say today) for thousands of years. We are the only species that exposes our offspring to the chaos of growing up in two very different homes and giving them three plus "parents." Whereas with other species, it's simple. There's none of this stepfamily garbage involved. Sorry to go on a tangent. However, I think SD knows reality, but that reality is not what any human naturally wants. Even if they were super little when the breakup between mom and dad happened. I think dh and bm need to talk with her about this and help her work through it. And if that doesn't work, they should get a counselor involved to help sd.
As for where she was born, show her her birth certificate.
Sd is 18, attends community
Sd is 18, attends community college, and has a two year old daughter, and works at McDonalds. She has seen the birth certificate, and I think the counseling ship has sailed
Not much you can do then. She
Not much you can do then. She has to want to help herself and be willing to make her life better. At least she works and goes to school-it seems like some sks and even people in general will not do that
I don't think it's wrong that she wants a close, loving relationship with dh but it should be a healthy one and I hope she can build that by getting some counseling with a therapist who can help her find better ways to deal with this situation.
I really wish that would
I really wish that would help, but she had been seeing a counselor in her early teens and still went had sex with random guys in the school bathroom for a couple years until she got pregnant. I hope she tries to sort things out, but I don't know if she is willing to listen to anyone's advice yet.
I hope so too. There are good
I hope so too. There are good counselors out there. When and if the time comes that she decides to learn healthier ways of dealing with this situation, she will have to look
People tend to make up this
People tend to make up this false reality when they aren't happy with their own. Italy seems more exciting and exotic than Arkasas. It's different and people tend to be in "awe" for whatever reason when they meet someone "foreign" LOL ask her since she believes she is a citizen of Italy, when is she getting her US citizenship, afterall wouldn't that make her an illegal alien? Even if that isn't true, she seems to be in such denial you could tell her that and just sit back to get her reaction.LOL...seems that she must have poor self esteem. IDK..Good luck with this one!